Tuesday, April 3, 2018

Hands Full, Heart Full: Month EIGHT & NINE

   

     Month EIGHT snuck up on me last month- hence no post! And here we are...already in month numero NINE!? Wowza! Can I just admit that ever since January 1...the entire 2018 year is zooming by at lightning speed? Blazing fast over here, blazing fast. So much has happened and it's been encouraging to look back at how far we've come with our Josiah Bug. As I've mentioned before, it's often hard to see growth in its fullest extent when you're living the day-by-day grind. Isn't that often the case? As a Kindergarten teacher, March is one of my most favorite months. I call it the "lightbulb" month because so many of my kiddos start to have this enormous "CLICK" and all.the.things start falling into place. The growth I see each school year is one of my most treasured memories with each class! We can say the same thing as parents during those first few months and years of life as our little ones change and develop in both big and little ways. Sometimes we can't always see it in the day to day...but when we reflect back upon a larger period of time...we're astounded at what we see. Without further ado, here's what we've been up to in our neck of the woods!
     Month EIGHT brought Josiah's 2nd birthday! Of course, we were so grateful to celebrate such a big "first" with our boy. We even had the opportunity to celebrate his birthday on the day of his actual birthday! Yay! It was so fun to sing to him and watch him soak all of the attention up. And let me tell you...this boy LOVES the attention a birthday brings! I have pictures to prove it. All presents were rightfully "his" and the action of sharing was something that was not easily practiced for weeks following his special day. At one point, we actually had to hide some of his gifts because he was struggling too much with the whole concept. He'd be happily playing with a toy and then Emmaline would walk in and play with one of his other "gifts" and BOOM! Hello holy meltdowns! Hiding the objects for a period of time seemed to help quite a bit. Now we don't have those issues as much and meltdowns seem to be more age-appropriate.






     All good things must come to an end...as seen in the picture below. Too.much.birthday. Ha! Also, it's fun to add that we literally took the first several pictures without Emmaline. Apparently, we're not a well-oiled machine as a family of SIX yet. Oops!


     We also had the chance to celebrate our "first" Chinese New Year during month EIGHT. This was unchartered territory for us so we kept things simple. It was fun to think about how we can incorporate Josiah's culture into our own family. Oranges are a symbol of good luck and fortune! I was able to celebrate with my class at school too which was SO FUN. I think we'll add a few ways for Sydney and Landon to celebrate at school next year. Oranges are a simple and fun way to tie in CNY.


These pictures were some of my favorite! He was NOT keen on the idea of changing into his outfit we had purchased from China...but with a few Oreos...he'd do anything! And he was even OK with keeping the outfit on for a while. Ha! We also went to our local Chinese restaurant to celebrate. That's a tradition we're all looking forward to next year!


     Month NINE brought some more fun for our Josiah Bug. We celebrated his sister's SECOND birthday (26 days flies when you're planning parties!) and we also enjoyed our first family Easter together. Egg hunts and Easter buckets are a lot of fun for this boy!







     Another HUGE "first" this month was moving our boy into HIS OWN TODDLER BED. Mommy and Daddy's bedroom has never looked bigger. Ha! This was a huge blessing on so.many.levels. Emmaline was not handling the fact that he was going into our room and laying on his bed...while she was going into her room and laying in her crib. They'd often lay with each other on Josiah's mattress so this seemed like a solution we were ALL ready for with the bed situation. Annnd he loves it. He's really doing well! Emmaline started off strong and has been a bit of a stinker with the concept, but having her right beside Josiah does a lot of good for the transition. Their relationship has become such a sweet thing. Don't get me wrong...we have PLENTY of tantrums, antagonizing, physical altercations, and the like. But it's mostly good and their "twinship" is becoming a beautiful process of learning and growth. Also...Twin Mamas...you're the REAL DEAL. I applaud you!



     Overall we've seen a lot of success with behavior and eating. Josiah is often a member of the CPC and can be found licking his plate after meals. If there is juice left over (from veggies, fruit, etc.) he WILL lick it or drink it any way he can. So silly. He and Emmaline love sitting at the counter for breakfast and snack time. And yes...my toddlers eat Fruity Pebbles. It's fine.

 


     The behavior area has been a harder thing to navigate. His tantrums have lessened, but he still gets into "no" fits where all he says is "NO" on repeat as he shakes his head. Getting him to come out of these tantrums can be really difficult- no matter the distraction, no matter the ignoring, no matter the holding/hugging. We compare it to a child that is upset and kicking and screaming. Josiah used to do this a lot more...but now he mostly just says "No" over and over and over (as he shakes his head in a very exaggerated way) to let us know he is NOT happy. Trust me, buddy, we know! We have had to be really firm with him on behavior in the past couple of months. Basically, he was learning to throw fits about EVERYTHING that didn't go his way. We had to put an end to it. And since we've been firm...the behavior has drastically improved. Kids love boundaries. They NEED boundaries. Josiah is no different. Sometimes parenting a child who has joined your family in such a way as Josiah can paralyze your own natural parenting instincts. You're told to read books about this, that, and the other. You parent with "kid gloves" and feel trapped in what you can do or say. Parenting kids who come from "trauma" is different. I agree. I'm also a teacher so I definitely understand that in more ways than just being Josiah's Mama. But, I also have to admit that feeling "trapped" by this logic was a huge {negative} factor in parenting Josiah these first several months. Was this behavior age-related? Was this behavior adoption-related? Trauma-related? Normal? Abnormal? Cause for concern? We were dizzy over trying to organize everything and oftentimes only looked at things through an "adoption" lens. And as a result, our smiley son was turning into a little boy who was very upset and hard to love. It's hard to model and work on appropriate responses when you're being screamed at with an ear-piercing shrill. So we began parenting in a more similar way to how we have parented all of our other children...and we have definitely seen the fruits of such a decision. I'd say this may be uncharacteristic for adoptive families and what we are instructed to do in training...but it has worked for us and has been a blessing for our family. There are other factors that were considered when we began implementing "consequences" too...like the fact that our boy is SUPER SMART and has very good receptive language. He is really beginning to flourish and for that...we are so excited and grateful!
     One of the biggest things I'm grateful for during these last several months is the opportunity that God has placed before me...to share our journey with others. Not only do I feel led to write about it...but I've been approached through social media and other ways about families who have been feeling a nudge to potentially pursue a journey of their own. And that is my biggest hope and prayer in sharing our story! While Eric and I don't know what God will allow our family to look like in a few years...we would love to come alongside other families who feel ready to step out in faith and begin a new chapter themselves. Praise God! Thanks for reading and praying and asking how we're doing. It all helps make this messy, hard, and redeeming process a worthwhile one.


     









2 comments:

  1. I love reading your family’s progress. Parenting is such a hard journey and you’re certainly rocking it!

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    1. Thanks so much for reading and for your encouragement! I appreciate it so much!

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