tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31515008646118365482024-03-12T21:25:00.021-07:00Our Glorious Unfolding"There’s so much of the story that’s still yet to unfold..." -Glorious Unfolding, Steven Curtis ChapmanLindsay http://www.blogger.com/profile/07848749570544732993noreply@blogger.comBlogger76125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151500864611836548.post-74087372944121967152019-09-25T03:45:00.002-07:002019-09-25T03:45:20.362-07:00Journey to Joy: Day #11 and #12 Well, Tuesday wasn't much to write home about. So I did us all a favor and combined it with Wednesday's happenings...which also weren't much. At this point in our trip, I have hit my capacity for China. I miss our kiddos so much and wish my kisses and hugs reached through FaceTime computer screens. But, alas, they do not.<br />
On Tuesday, we did some sightseeing at a temple and then visited the Chen Clan Academy and Folk Art Museum...which we saw last trip too. The temple was obviously not our cup of tea due to religious differences...but the architecture and landscape were beautiful.<br />
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The Chen Clan Academy replaced their little shops with other art, a small tourist gift shop, and a cafe. I was really bummed because we bought quite a few gifts here last time. The architecture and craftsmanship within the academy is amazing. It really is...but since we had been there before, it was more just something to keep us out of the hotel. Aliza tolerates the stroller, but would much rather be OUT of it. The problem arises, out of the stroller, when she doesn't want to move or walk with you. She'd rather just sit... outside of the stroller...on the ground.</div>
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Tuesday's dinner was Outback at the fancy mall across the street. And it was SO good! Bloomin' onion and Alice Springs Chicken. Yum. Aliza had spaghetti because she is a noodle lover. She's already gained 3 lbs. since we've been together! Ha! </div>
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On Wednesday, we slept in and ate a late breakfast. This was Eric's goal at least once this trip. And today was the day! We pretty much laid around and played in the hotel most of the morning. Nothing exciting. Aliza figured out that using a hotel pen in her empty pom pom sorter makes a really good sound. She stirred and stirred and stirred!</div>
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At 2:00 p.m., we traveled to Shamian Island one more time to pick up a few more gifts. Visiting the shop owners is such a treat so I was excited to do this again. We packed our empty carry-on FULL to the brim! Aliza enjoyed a snack on the way and a nap on the ride back.</div>
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Tonight, in our true hermit fashion of the last two days, we had the buffet at the hotel. Not sure what we paid for it...but just put it on our tab. Ha! Aliza enjoyed her rice and noodles so that's all that matters. Next up is bath time and PACKING!</div>
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This will be my last blog post from China and it's sort of bittersweet. Our plane leaves at 10:00 a m. tomorrow morning, but we depart from our hotel at 6:45 a.m. Wel land in Beijing for a short layover and then head to Detroit with an estimated arrival of Thursday evening at 5:45 p.m. YAY! We have appreciated everyone's thoughts and prayers while we've been away. They have been felt in many ways during our stay. The next time I blog... we'll be in the U.S. of A.!</div>
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Lindsay http://www.blogger.com/profile/07848749570544732993noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151500864611836548.post-28390820467599032442019-09-23T05:04:00.000-07:002019-09-23T08:03:24.548-07:00Journey to Joy: Day #10 This morning was our Consulate appointment! We left at 7:55 a.m. to meet our guide at the medical building, where we picked up Aliza's TB test results (negative- yay!), and then headed across the street to the Consulate building. You can't take much in with you and absolutely no electronics. So, here are the best shots our guide snapped from outside the U.S. Consulate in Guangzhou.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEge3M6gy59EaH91bwAmA1GJvBBrQ0GLAuB7bhFaH4GiZO3DTx9yBHGIRWAytqQaxhY2p6S-PsZQfIC62K0ZjNH8Ffz6d-IDZ8325AhNXrZcVG4LBvWpIoTT7IOpGEA5YrwPreXyOwiC9j4/s1600/20190923_082124.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="778" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEge3M6gy59EaH91bwAmA1GJvBBrQ0GLAuB7bhFaH4GiZO3DTx9yBHGIRWAytqQaxhY2p6S-PsZQfIC62K0ZjNH8Ffz6d-IDZ8325AhNXrZcVG4LBvWpIoTT7IOpGEA5YrwPreXyOwiC9j4/s320/20190923_082124.jpg" width="155" /></a></div>
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Once you enter, you go to "Window 8" and take a number. We were #5 out of 6 families. The process was about an hour, but they have a kids play area so it was super simple. Aliza loved playing. She also felt like it was a great time for a bowel movement and I forgot the diapers in the security room. Thankfully, the family we've gone sightseeing with offered a diaper and wipes! Eek. A win-win for everyone in the waiting room! We were so grateful! Eric took an oath with the other family representatives and I did my fingerprints for her visa application. It was a true team effort! We'll get her visa on Wednesday... just in time to leave Thursday morning!</div>
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From the Consulate, we traveled to the IFC Building which is the third tallest building in Guangzhou. We hopped on the elevator and rode to the 70th floor. What?! Ears were popping! The 70th floor is the lobby of the Four Seasons hotel. Above it, are 31 MORE floors for guests to stay. Well, technically, the 101st floor is a restaurant...only open for dinner. Nicest hotel I've ever stepped inside. And the ones we stay at here are 5 star hotels. I even took a picture of the bathroom, haha!</div>
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So why taunt ourselves with this beautiful lobby? Because of the view! And it was free! The sight was truly breathtaking. I don't even think my pictures will do it justice. Guangzhou is a city of more than 12 million people...and this view let you see it all. Amazing. Absolutely amazing.</div>
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Aliza visited ALL the swanky furniture. And Mama snapped her picture every time. Haha! </div>
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We made our way back to reality and headed to lunch at the World Plaza. It has a variety of restaurants and cuisines. They were all very nice restaurants too! We were going to eat at Oggi, an Italian restaurant, but it didn't open for another half hour so we opted for Mi Casa. Mexican! I had vegetarian nachos and Eric had a burrito. Aliza enjoyed guacamole and a cheese quesadilla. It was all very delicious! Before we left, I stopped in a deli store (actually more of a grocery store) and picked up some more snacks for Aliza. Ok, fine. And another FULL bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos. Aliza enjoyed using her new box of Cheerios as a snack AND for play time!</div>
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The afternoon brought laundry...in our bath tub! This is the second time we've done it here (in the tub). This particular load of laundry would have cost us $300USD to have it sent out. I know this because I priced it out. We thought we were desperate for someone else to do it after the first time...because wringing it all out and hanging it up is time-consuming and quite frankly, annoying...but not annoying enough to spend $300USD! Sore hands here we come! Aliza loves laundry day. Here, Eric is stirring the laundry to really get the washing effect. Haha! Oh, and yes, there's a giant window into the bathroom. Really makes the place seem more open. It does have a motorized shade that goes up and down... which we've had many laughs about.</div>
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Tonight we decided to stay in and do our weekly "room service in China when at a fancy hotel" dinner. They quoted us about 45 minutes. While we waited, Aliza climbed up on Eric's lap as he worked on his computer. She did NOT take a nap today (which isn't a big deal because we haven't been trying too hard) so she was pretty sleepy by now. Eric was listening to some music on his phone and she rested her head on both hands and dozed off. Preciousness! I picked her up and swayed her a little bit deeper into sleep and now, she's out for the night! </div>
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In other news, when I got on my Delta app today, it reminded me that we can check in...in 1 day and 14 hours. YAY! We're so excited tomorrow is Tuesday already! Home is getting closer to becoming a reality. Good night from China, friends!</div>
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Lindsay http://www.blogger.com/profile/07848749570544732993noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151500864611836548.post-20062759138938697462019-09-22T06:06:00.000-07:002019-09-22T07:04:24.657-07:00Journey to Joy: Day #9 We really couldn't remember exactly what we were doing today, but we met our guide and another family outside of the lobby around 9:20. We had a FaceTime session with the kids run a bit over and left a crying child on the screen. We miss our kiddos SO much. I've been really good about not crying in front of them, but today was challenging. Tomorrow is our Consulate appointment where they'll issue Aliza her visa. It takes two days to process so families plan their departure around this Consulate date. We leave GZ on Thursday morning, fly to Beijing, and then on to Detroit. So we're close! (Insert homesick sobbing)<br />
Our van dropped us off at the Yuntai Garden which is situated at the southern foot of the Baiyun Mountain. This was another first for us and it was beautiful!<br />
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This garden trip, however, was not without some flashbacks of a trip we took to Tennessee with some families from our church a few years ago. Emmaline was about 4 months old and we forgot our baby carrier. So, our only option was the stroller we packed. As you can imagine, hiking mountains with a stroller is neither convenient or suggested. I'll never forget reading a sign that essentially said the trail was not suitable for strollers or small children. So, naturally, Eric decided to CARRY Emmaline up the mountain. It was one of the dumbest things we've done. If you know our sweetest Emmaline, she's never been a small girl. Ha!<br />
While this garden wasn't a hiking trail, it had a lot of steps. And they weren't full steps, but rather like half steps. Ok. So I'm obviously out of shape. I will be the first to admit that. But, I wasn't even huffing and puffing. It was the half steps and TONS of them that made my shins and calves feel like jelly. OH! ...and we carried Aliza, IN THE STROLLER, up and down them all. Like, who are we?! Not our smartest decision. Also, while most of the signs were in Chinese, I'm pretty sure there were ones warning us against strollers. We saw English ones that said "Rugged path" and "Mind your step." I love signs in China. Haha! Steps were minded. Mound? Just kidding.<br />
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20 Yuan and lots of sweat later, we had two cold bottles of water and a pinwheel that made our girl's morning. We took a break and sat down for a quick leg break. Aliza was so cute as she interacted with the pinwheel. And when the wind wasn't cutting it, she moved that thing herself.</div>
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The garden was a giant circle with several different areas built off of it. There were also lots of huge lanterns that we're told are turned on for holidays and special occasions.</div>
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We visited the beautiful greenhouse on site. It was filled with an assortment of vegetation. Aliza liked walking this part and is getting more confident with stairs. Going down, she'd still prefer to sit and do them one by one though.</div>
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We spent about an hour at the garden before heading back to our hotel. Aliza was exhausted. It was definitely warmer outside, but still nothing compared to our last trip to GZ. She fell asleep in the van and then transferred to the bed in our room. Wahoo! She slept for almost two hours.</div>
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We witnessed Aliza's first meltdown at lunchtime...which was noodles in the room. Truthfully, the tantrum wasn't much. Despite the smiles I plaster here...which are 95% of her facial expressions, she does get upset. But it's rare. She even worked up some alligator tears this time. About two of them. It was actually over moving her lunch to the floor so she could eat a little better. She didn't understand that and thought we were taking it away. There can be a lot of food and trust issues with a child who has spent time in an institution. So it's an easy fix to just show her the food and help her to understand it isn't going away.</div>
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I laid down for a bit in the afternoon while Eric and Aliza played and played and played. She is so playful. And helpful. She loves to get her changing mat out for diaper changes and put it away. She even folded a floor mat (her giant placemat for lunch) lengthwise by three and then again by 3. I foresee a lot more laundry helping in our future! It was crazy!</div>
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Tonight, we were invited by another adoptive family to go out for a Western cuisine dinner. There were three families total and we're all staying at the same hotel. It's easy to be confident under the wings of your guide. But, this dinner meant getting a taxi and communicating where you wanted to go and then getting back to the hotel again. For me, this was a hard NO. Eric suggested we be social, but I really wanted to back out. I am SO glad we didn't. The food was excellent and the company was even better. All three families were completing their second China adoptions. </div>
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The family who invited us hailed a taxi for us! They have experience with taxis and the subway here. So much braver than me! Taxis don't often stop for foreigners...and when they do, once you tell them where you want to go...they can say NO. We experienced that a bit. This family found our taxi for us though and then waited for their own...which ended up turning off his meter and demanding double the rate AFTER they arrived. Wow!</div>
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The food at this restaurant was delicious! And worth the trip! The owner is a New Yorker and has had this restaurant for several years. He was very accommodating and kind. I had pork nachos and Eric had a burger. Aliza had Mac and cheese...like the real kind. She was so content the entire time we were there.</div>
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When we left the restaurant, we walked a block or so and I was able to hail a taxi who said YES! Look at me!? Haha! We had a hotel card with us that we could show the driver which made it easier. The trip back was much shorter and cheaper. Hmmmm... Taxi driver: 1 Murray Family: 0. But, we made it and that's all that matters! Good food and fellowship was worth it all! </div>
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Tomorrow, we leave the hotel at 7:55 a.m. for the Consulate so it is a BIT earlier than we're used to leaving. One day closer to home though. Thanks again for reading along and for all of the comments! We love reading them and they help make home seem not so far away. </div>
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<br />Lindsay http://www.blogger.com/profile/07848749570544732993noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151500864611836548.post-18508356940817301562019-09-21T05:07:00.000-07:002019-09-21T05:15:38.097-07:00Journey to Joy: Day #8 On Saturday morning, we overslept! Haha! Not really, but we didn't wake up until 7:30 which is about two hours later than we've been getting up here. We left with our guide and another family at 9:15 to tour the Museum of the Nanyue King. So basically...we went to a mausoleum. This was something new since our last trip and it was only 20 RMB for us to go. It kept us out of the hotel so that was nice. China has a very rich history and it was interesting to see the tombs and artifacts that were found.<br />
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Next up, was the Toy Market! This was a six or seven story building with HUNDREDS of shops. Eric was in there for about two minutes before he said it might not work out. LOL. So.many.stores.and.people.</div>
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It was a lot of fun to shop and look around! We could have gone nuts here, but packing is important to remember. We cleared an entire carry-on of some donations so we do have some extra room! But, we also have until Thursday before we leave so who knows what we'll find before then. We found some really neat things for our kiddos back home though. We also bought Aliza some crayons and paper because she loves to draw and a boogie board which kept her busy the entire time we browsed through the toy market!</div>
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Before we headed back to the hotel, we grabbed our first McDonald's of the trip. Aliza is a FAN of chicken nuggets and fries. She might be a six-piece kind of girl. Ha! We got her apple slices, but the skins of the apples hurt her gums. It's likely that her teeth weren't brushed during her time in the orphanage so teeth brushing at night was really painful for her the first two nights. And flossing! The blood has definitely lessened though and she isn't scared of flossing anymore. Her little mouth is very crowded so we have to keep up with the flossing because food hangs out in many places!</div>
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Aliza also said her first word today! MORE. We've been using some sign language with her for basic words. She can sign water pretty well. But Aliza has basically refused to sign "more" when shown. She will sometimes and won't others. Well, today, for a McDonald's french fry...she decided she'd use her words. And she did it every time with prompting. MORE. Thankfully, she let us record it too. So PROUD OF HER! She also said Mama in the van ride from the toy market to the hotel, but doesn't use it with much consistency. Obviously, it's very early. Josiah didn't say mom until six months home. </div>
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Tonight, we braved one of the malls next to our hotel. I use the word "braved" because it's Saturday night in China. Holy people, Batman! We decided to venture into the Taste Market in the basement of the mall. It's essentially an upscale Walmart. I much preferred it over the Walmarts we visited on our last trip. I purchased some essentials: Cherry Coke, Doritos, and Snickers. </div>
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Then, we made our way up to the 4th floor for dinner. At this point, I wanted to BACK OUT and just eat Doritos for supper. Wall to wall people and no manners. It's every person for themselves. Thankfully, Aliza had fallen asleep in the stroller. We arrived at our restaurant destination (as suggested by a fellow adoptive parent). It was pretty "authentic" if you ask me. The dish I got was good, but very spicy! I couldn't eat it all. As for Aliza, there wasn't a kids menu, but the waitress suggested tofu. Honestly, I don't know much about tofu, but hoped it'd be OK for her just this once. Aliza was ALL about the tofu. She clenched her bowl the entire time and shoveled it in quickly. And in between refills, she pouted. It was so funny!</div>
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Aliza's personality is a lot of fun. She definitely has some stubborn streaks when she doesn't get her way. Or when her bowl is taken away to refill it with food. These are typical and expected behaviors. When she is upset, she just goes limp and lays on the ground. Or in her highchair, she just turned away from us. Luckily, we get to tell her YES a lot right now. Yes, to suckers! Yes, to changing clothes (new pajamas)! Yes, to coloring! Our girl definitely makes life fun! So excited that tomorrow is Sunday! One day closer to HOME!</div>
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<br />Lindsay http://www.blogger.com/profile/07848749570544732993noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151500864611836548.post-22714029353850343462019-09-20T06:12:00.000-07:002019-09-20T06:12:40.180-07:00Journey to Joy: Day #7...The Lucky Few Today was my favorite day of the whole trip so far! We started the day with our normal morning routine of breakfast and FaceTime with the kiddos. Aliza tried waffles today and a rice dish with ham and eggs. Unlike her brother, Josiah, she loves rice. These foods were in addition to ALL of her other favorites. She's a BIG eater.<br />
At 9:30, our guide took us to the Pearl market and we had a bracelet made for Aliza. Golly! It's so tiny! We also had some others made for Sydney and Emmaline. Last trip, we gave Sydney a pearl necklace so this bracelet will match.<br />
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Next, we made our way to Shamian Island. This island is historical as it used to be where families stayed for the duration of their GZ trip because not only did it have the lodging, the White Swan hotel, but it also housed the U.S. Consulate. The Consulate has sinced moved so many families stay off the island now. In general, it has lost a lot of its stores and there was a LOT of construction...but it is a beautiful place. We had our picture taken on the famous red couch and then made our way to the violin teacher statue with all of the students behind her. These are very popular places to snap a picture in the world of China adoption.</div>
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Our guide pointed out two restaurants on the Island. One was traditional Chinese and the other was Lucy's with a mix of American favorites and Chinese favorites. We thought we'd be bold and try the Dim Sum place. We even sat down at a table. But, after we took one look at the menu, we decided that Dim Sum is not for everyone. Annnnnd we made our way back over to Lucy's, which is where we ate on our last trip. And it was awesome! Per usual! Our waiter's name was even JOY. </div>
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Friends, I hope if you've picked up on ANYTHING in our journey...it is this: God is very real. He moves and speaks in amazing ways. He orchestrates things that proclaim His goodness. He takes brokenness and turns it into beauty. We KNOW that our journey with Aliza will have speed bumps and setbacks...but none of these have been untouched by our God. He is so worthy of our praise. I hope you can see that in this story of His faithfulness and love. </div>
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Everyone loved Aliza at Lucy's. We even had a great conversation with a young man who was born in Chicago and now works in China. He asked about adoption and told us how amazing Aliza is! This girl is beyond extraordinary! Others see and notice that! How many others, like her, wait?! Too many, friends. TOO MANY!</div>
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After lunch, we began the shopping! The Island has a few stores left with little trinkets and clothing and other cultural gifts. We visited two of the stores we shopped at in 2017... Amy's and Helen's. The owners are GEMS. We'll have a whole carry-on of goodies before we leave. The owner of Amy's was especially kind. She sat down and read Aliza a Bible story about David and Jonathan in Chinese. I wish I would have taken a video. Aliza listened the entire time. (Insert crying) The owner told Eric and I what a beautiful girl Aliza was and that she hopes God blesses us. We bought Aliza's squeaker shoes here (a MUST!), along with a beautiful silk dress. We also found the sweetest plush doll that Aliza adores. I might need to go back and get Emmaline a matching one. Eek! Preciousness! After we finished shopping, our guide hailed a taxi for us. Oh.my.gracious. The driver was INSANE. We literally weaved in and out of cars at high rates of speed. Whoa. So thankful to have that behind us. Ha! Our girl didn't mind and took a nap (with her baby) in my lap. The lucky few indeed.</div>
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The number of things Aliza is learning already...well, it almost leaves me speechless. She picks up everything! She even puts her shoes next to ours when she takes them off. Speechless. Hard to believe for me, I know. I love words. But this girl...she has blessed my life SO MUCH these past seven days. I just know God will continue to use her and the story she holds as a testimony to His Kingdom. And He's given Eric and I a front row seat to it all. No words, friends. No words. </div>
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<br />Lindsay http://www.blogger.com/profile/07848749570544732993noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151500864611836548.post-89607882966808401592019-09-19T15:45:00.000-07:002019-09-19T15:45:33.330-07:00Journey to Joy: Day #6 Fun Fact: On Wednesday night, when we checked in, they ran out of king size rooms. So the manager here gave us a beautiful view of the city with two doubles. I told Eric I thought he used to work at The Garden because I remembered him from our last trip. Kinda far-fetched since this was at midnight and my brain probably wasn't fully functioning. But, when I asked our guide on Thursday about it...she said he DID work at The Garden in 2017! My brain STILL works! Haha! We're keeping our beautiful view and the double beds are just fine for us.<br />
On Thursday morning, we woke up and found our new normal in Guangzhou...at the hotel breakfast! The food was amazing! Even maybe slightly better than in Zhengzhou...which was also very, very good! They asked if Aliza wanted "something" in Chinese. I thought they meant high chair, so I said yes! But instead, they brought her a Peppa pig plate and spoon so she could feed herself! Equally as awesome as a high chair (which they brought out a minute or two later)! When in doubt, say yes... because they do take such great care of us here. The orphanage said she didn't feed herself unless it was a handheld snack. Perhaps this was for ease, we don't exactly know. But our girl did GREAT using her own spoon! She doesn't seem to have a dominant hand yet, but is very good left-handed. It was so fun to see her conquer this milestone! New foods were watermelon, yogurt, and pancakes! She also ate her other faves like eggs and bananas.<br />
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At 9:00, we headed down to the lobby to leave for Aliza's medical appointment. But not before grabbing Starbucks...which is IN OUR HOTEL. We are staying somewhere new this time and we both give it HIGH marks. We like it so much better than our Guangzhou hotel in 2017. Our driver made his way, like a pure genius, to the medical building. He was literally stared down by a police officer who randomly closed off a road we needed to go down. Aliza did great at her medical. She had NO heart murmur (huge praise!) and the doctor commented on how high-functioning she was...which is a common thing we've heard from people who knew our girl. She is SMART! Aliza cried zero tears for her lonely blood draw. Wow, the bravest.</div>
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We decided to eat lunch in the hotel room so we could try and squeeze a nap in for Aliza before heading to an aquarium and dinner later. This was not before play time and laundry though. Aliza picks up on everything. She was right in the action, helping and squeezing out water from our clothing. Be still my heart!</div>
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We don't have a schedule this trip like we did last time. It's whatever we want to do. I like that option a lot because we can save some money and not be forced to go on boats or to zoos again if we've been there and done that. The only thing we really want to repeat is Shamian Island. The rest of our time is open for planning.</div>
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Today, we tried the aquarium next door and Pizza Hut on the 4th floor of a huge mall. The pizza wasn't like the pizza we had last time in Guangzhou (at an Italian place down from our hotel). Boo. But Aliza LOVED feeding herself. She had two full pieces! The aquarium had some neat features, but I couldn't get past all the floor dryers and towels smashed up around the bases of all the tanks. That made me nervous. They had some really BIG tanks!</div>
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I hope everyone has a great Friday! We're ready to tackle ours here in China!</div>
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Lindsay http://www.blogger.com/profile/07848749570544732993noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151500864611836548.post-22366748833139560532019-09-18T11:16:00.002-07:002019-09-18T11:16:25.644-07:00Journey to Joy: Day #5 We're almost to the halfway point! Today was actually our last day in Zhengzhou. We went to the Civil Affairs office and made Aliza OFFICIALLY a Murray! Yay! The head of the office spoke and his message was translated. I felt like he spoke with such sincerity and pride for our children. If I wasn't trying to get Aliza to stop squirming...I might have cried. Haha!<br />
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From there, we stopped by the notary and then the bank to wire our orphanage donation. This was different than our first trip with Josiah. We wired everything ahead of time so we only traveled with spending money. This trip, we had to travel with our orphanage donation (35,000RMB) and spending money...which made me a little nervous. BUT, our guide did everything for us. Our first guide exchanged our money and our second guide wired the money. It could not have been easier! </div>
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Waiting in the bank was an experience. They only had one teller working and you basically "take a number" for your turn. Literally, there were two old women behind us yelling and asking what was taking so long. Ha! While we waited, I asked our guide about Starbucks...and he ran me right around the corner for my vanilla latte! So.grateful. As I've said before, our guides are truly special people. They're so accommodating for us "foreigners."</div>
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After the bank, we headed back to the hotel for lunch and the possibility of a nap for Aliza girl. Aliza was definitely more mobile today. Being held and sitting in a car...NOT her favorite things. But, she managed to smile the whole time anyway.</div>
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Although Aliza is a peanut, the girl can eat! We're definitely testing things out as to how much will be too much. But so far, the ONLY thing she turned her nose up at was the warm milk that we were told she drank by the orphanage. Haha! That was also the case with Josiah. He hated warm milk. You don't drink cold anything in China. The orphanage was very sure to tell us that with drinks and food. Aliza loves noodles (like Josiah), fruit, eggs, hash browns. You name it! Here she is waiting for Daddy to finish her noodles...which she devours. The ramen is really good here in China.</div>
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A nap wasn't really happening due to time and packing up to leave. Our last stop for today was the police station to apply for Aliza's passport. She had to get her picture taken and then our guide will mail her passport to us here in Guangzhou. I didn't know that was a thing...but it's happening!? Oh...and Aliza did fall asleep for a quick 5 minute nap on the way there. </div>
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From the police station, our guide and driver escorted us to the train station. Again, this trip to China involved trains instead of in-country flights. The Zhengzhou train station was mammoth. Our guide said it used to be the biggest station in Asia, until all capitals had train stations built. We had to pick up our train tickets and check our baggage. This included drinking any waters we had in front of an officer to prove it was water. Hahaha and not posion? I don't know. We had a bit of time to grab Subway for an on-the-train dinner and then headed out for a 7 hour train ride. Eesh. Here are some views of the train station inside. Also, we are SO GLAD we have a stroller with us this trip. Aliza stayed in it while we waited for the train which was great because it was insanely busy!</div>
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The train ride went well. It was just long...partly because we were traveling a long distance and partly because it made several stops along the way. It does keep to a schedule though. I was glad we were at the end of the line because I'm not sure we could have unloaded in time. You definitely saw some people scrambling! Aliza enjoyed her first Subway sandwich (like a champ) and slept towards the end. I feel confident about our plane ride home. Prayers that confidence stands!</div>
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Our guide found us even before we got through the gate in Guangzhou. Yay! That's always my least favorite part. Per usual, she is SO sweet. We made a 45 minute trip to our hotel. The traffic was bananas. Apparently, the whole city is awake at midnight. We have a few hours to sleep (we both slept some on the train) and then it's breakfast and Aliza's medical appointment at 9:00. Please pray for her. She has to have a TB test done and I'm not allowed in there with her. We might see and hear her first tears! Until tomorrow, friends! Goodnight from Guangzhou! P.s. You better believe these panda diapers were just added to my Amazon subscription list!</div>
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Lindsay http://www.blogger.com/profile/07848749570544732993noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151500864611836548.post-28601188640027655472019-09-17T08:59:00.000-07:002019-09-17T09:16:24.560-07:00Journey to Joy: Day #4 {The Bravest Girl I Know} Well...the day we've been waiting for...it finally came! Eric and I were both up at 5 a.m. After FaceTiming some family, we headed down to breakfast...to our same table, same spot. We came back up to the room and made a list of questions to ask the ayis (nannies). We fixed our hair, packed our bags, went to the bathroom a million times (maybe just me), anything to try and make time pass a little quicker!<br />
Around 8:50, we made our way to the elevator. As I've mentioned before, we're on the 29th floor. We have never been in the elevator with anyone else since we've been here. We literally ride straight from our floor to the 5th or 8th floor every time. Except today. We stopped on 28. Then 27. Then 26. When we stopped on 25, I started laughing. This made others feel really awkward. But, what are the odds?! Ha! We finally picked up speed and went straight to the lobby on floor 8. Our guide and her co-worker were waiting.<br />
Our guide for today was Tyger. He will also be with us tomorrow. He is so kind and very good at what he does. We drove through heavy traffic and arrived to the adoption building around 9:20. We were the first ones there. Shortly after we arrived, two sweet kiddos came in. One of the families was still on their way and the other family met their child. Eric and I sat and waited for our turn. I also cried... because...it's such a hard thing when these kiddos first meet their families. I know there is good...but it is so difficult and breaks my heart when they cry. Because they do cry! Josiah cried so much when we first met him.<br />
Aliza's city is a two-hour drive from Zhengzhou, so we ended up waiting for almost that amount of time in a small room. In fact, the other two families finished all of their paperwork and left before we even met Aliza. In hindsight, this was probably perfect. It really calmed my nerves and we had the opportunity to meet Aliza by ourselves. Seeing her walk down the long hallway towards us was just precious! My video won't load here. Wahhhh!<br />
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Aliza is a total peanut! When we received her measurements in July, we didn't think it was possible for her to be as small as the orphanage said...because she turned 4 in February. But, she is TINY...maybe more like a 12 month old. I brought nothing to fit her! Haha! I'll need to do some shopping in Guangzhou. Don't mind that one bit!</div>
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Aliza was very playful while Eric and I switched on and off stamping thumbprints and signing paperwork. She loved the stacking cups, pom pom sorter, and tiny books! Every time she read one of the board books, she'd turn it around and show me as she flipped pages...as if reading to me! So precious!</div>
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When it was time to leave, I held out my arms and Aliza came to me and let me hold her. She blew kisses to her ayis and waved bye-bye. There was not ONE tear from our girl...the bravest girl in all of China. Her Mama on the other hand...shed the tears. Walking away from the only thing she's ever known is so hard. I was heartbroken to think about all the changes she was going through.</div>
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Since we've been at the hotel, it's been a lot of, well, outfit changes. Between trying to figure out what will even stay up on her tiny frame and changing clothes after she's soaked them with her water bottle...we're experts at getting dressed! Also, this girl can SMILE. Oh my word!</div>
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While Aliza doesn't speak yet and didn't make many sounds while we were in the office building, she has been constantly babbling ever since we stepped inside the hotel room. She is SUCH a playful girl! I bet she used the pom pom sorter for an hour straight. Pleasant and easy going are in her nature for sure.</div>
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While it is NOT a typical Family Day for us to be having such an easy time with Aliza...we are definitely grateful. She sits in our laps to eat. Or anytime she wants to be close. She loves to lean on me, ha! She holds out her extended little arms when she wants Eric to pick her up. She plays and plays and plays some more. She LOVES to eat. Oh my word. Snacks are her JAM! She just gets a kick out of everything! Maybe it's because I cheer anytime she does something. Hmmm... </div>
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But while other families are dealing with grieving children, we are also swallowing the {hard} reality that our sweet girl is SO small. The kind of small you know will be the first comment of many people who ask how old she is as we wait in line in the grocery store. Or when we introduce her to friends and family. And then the comments start coming in...why is she so small?! Is something wrong? Assumptions are made. By strangers. Or friends. Or maybe even family. And then fear starts to creep in...into our own parent hearts. Because, we know this. We see this. Every day, ya know? She's itty bitty and nothing like a 4 year old, physically.</div>
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I looked at Eric today (while he was processing all that had happened) and simply said...God only wants us to meet her where she's at right now. Because I know Eric's thoughts had also been my thoughts. My fears. She WILL grow though. How much? We don't know. But God does! She will grow in so many ways beyond physical growth too. I know a loving family will make her BLOOM. And she will likely always be more petite. That's a characteristic of down syndrome. But, it is our honor to see and care for Aliza at every milestone she conquers. And I can tell you, after being Aliza's Mama for not even a day...our girl IS a conqueror.</div>
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So fear? Guess what. You have ZERO space in my heart. Because I have been chosen as Aliza's mother and I will absolutely shout her worth until it is heard and understood by everyone we meet! She is worthy! Her size does not determine our ability to love her or not. Nor should it determine how she is viewed by this world. </div>
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I put this board together back in August after feeling a nudge from God that this should be my prayer. And now I know why. God has our girl in the palm of His hand. He always has and He always will. And I can parent her confidently in that truth alone. Aliza is loved. Completely and wholly loved.</div>
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For now, our sweet girl says goodnight, great big world! She's glad to meet you.</div>
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<br />Lindsay http://www.blogger.com/profile/07848749570544732993noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151500864611836548.post-85926966187165649832019-09-16T07:42:00.000-07:002019-09-22T07:04:52.144-07:00Journey to Joy: Day #2 and #3<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Day #2 (Sunday) was quiet and mostly uneventful... besides the fact that we left our passports at the check-in desk the night before and were startled with a call late in the day that someone would bring them up immediately. Yikes! The weather was rainy and overcast and I made it clear to Eric that I'd be OK if we didn't adventure today. So we didn't! </div>
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Breakfast is from 6 a.m. to 10 a.m. so we made it down around 8 a.m. Breakfasts are always an adventure. Let me tell you, it never smells like breakfast. I immediately lost my appetite at the smell of something seafood-related. I could feel my grumpy pants coming on. Breakfast was the one meal I ate on our last trip. Eggs every.single.day. After a few trips around the buffet, normal foods were found and I was back to my un-hangry self. In our experience, there is always a large selection of foods. But, they're not always the breakfast foods you'd expect. We did find some amazing banana bread though! And Eric knows to choose molasses for his pancakes. Below is our view from breakfast. We sit at the same table and they always play American music...think 80s easy listening. Ha!</div>
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We are on the 29th floor of our hotel. Here are a couple of daytime views.</div>
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On Sunday night, we ordered room service. China is like the only time we ever do this, haha! We actually had the manager pay us a visit for our order because no one can understand us. The language barrier is always tricky. Eric and I both talked about doing Rosetta Stone and learning it. Haha! I'm not sure why because he's made it very clear that we are done after this adoption. Bless him. We had beautiful fresh flowers on our table for two. Eric had spaghetti Napolitano and I had Beef and Noodles. Both were excellent! For dessert, we had to try their Napoleon. Oh and it was all washed down with Sprite! Simple pleasures.</div>
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<span style="text-align: left;">The concierge here is amazing! He has personally reached out on a daily basis to see if we need anything. He is originally from Indonesia and has been at this hotel for about 2 years. He is usually the one that is called upon when we make a request (like exchanging money or needing copies of visas) that the front desk can't understand. Haha! I usually say something to the effect of, "Hi! It's us again...the foreigners!"</span></div>
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Here was a night time view out our hotel room window. They take lighting very seriously. Many buildings have flashing patterns and colors. Definitely a Vegas-type feel. Our guide shared that the population of Zhengzhou is about 10 million. This is not quite double the population of Kunming...where we were for Josiah's adoption in 2017.</div>
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On Monday, we were to meet our guide at 8:30 a.m. for some sightseeing. Coffee has not been easy to come by and we were counting on a trusty Starbucks to be closer than a 30 minute walk. Danielle, our guide, is a gift-giver. She has gone out of her way several times to do things for us. At 8:30, she greeted us with mooncakes and a souvenir keychain from the Henan province (where we are). Danielle knows that foreigners like their coffee so she offered to take us to the Starbucks on our way out of the city. Bless her! It was a glorious vanilla latte!</div>
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We had a little less than 2 hours of drive time to our destination. Danielle is very personable and chatted with us throughout the trip. I snapped some pictures of the landscape as we traveled.</div>
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While I can't speak much about our final destination (per our guide), we were blessed with a life-changing experience for a couple of hours. Our time spent was valuable and special...and something we will both remember forever.</div>
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We're averaging about two meals a day...a big breakfast and an early dinner. This will obviously need to change when Aliza is in our arms. But, for the two of us, it's simple and doable. After we returned from our morning adventure, it was almost 2 p.m. We ate at one of the hotel restaurants and shared an order of French fries and mutton. Mutton was something we had when in Kunming. Our amazing guide, Susan, took us to the ethnic village where we tried it for the first time. It was good here, but not as good as in Kunming. </div>
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Physically and mentally, we feel great! We just get pretty tired in the afternoon. We've done a big no-no and taken afternoon naps. Sometimes, that means you're up at 10:30 p.m. typing blog posts without a sliver of tiredness. Besides, tomorrow is Aliza day! How can I sleep? We leave the hotel at 9 a.m. (so 9 p.m. on Monday for our family and friends back home). We can't wait! Please be praying for her little heart to feel safe and loved. We would also appreciate some prayers about leaving on Wednesday for Guangzhou. We found out today, we don't actually have train tickets (that we paid for) to leave Zhengzhou. Our guide is working on it though! (Remember, she's great!) And we won't have Aliza's passport to show at the train station when we leave because it won't be ready and has to be sent to us in Guangzhou. We've been assured that our Travel Approval will work and this happens all the time. But, it makes my Mama heart nervous. Thanks for reading and praying along! We hope to share our sweet Aliza with you all soon!</div>
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<br />Lindsay http://www.blogger.com/profile/07848749570544732993noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151500864611836548.post-67095791072170036972019-09-14T21:02:00.001-07:002019-09-22T07:04:40.200-07:00Journey to Joy: Day #1 I was feeling SO good about bringing our computer this time to blog. Using my phone to blog on our trip with Josiah worked out well. But, I'm thinking that typing out long posts on a phone keyboard isn't the best way. But, if it's the only way...then here we go!<br />
We headed to the airport around 9:30 Friday morning. My nerves seemed a little more intense than the last time we headed to the airport for an international flight. Perhaps, it was because we were driving ourselves and my dad dropped us off last time. I'm not sure. It was probably a combination of things at this point. Did you remember that I hate flying?<br />
We were planning to park on the north side of the airport in the "green" lot. GPS was locked in and we arrived to our destination. Except that it was full. <i>Use Blue Lot. </i>Ok. No problem. I quickly typed it into the GPS. Rerouting. Eric calls out that he sees a sign for this blue lot, but it's left... and we're on a one way and have to turn right. I assured him it came up on my GPS and that going the opposite way was probably because we can't go left. Mistake #1. We followed my GPS almost out of the airport to some random office space. <i>You have reached your destination. </i>Except that we hadn't. We made our way back to where Eric had seen the sign and headed into a parking garage. Floor #4...and a man motioned us to the right. Except there were no spots. So floor #6...here we come.<br />
At this point, it's after 12 and our flight boards at 12:55. What?! We took another detour to the shuttle waiting area thanks to me not reading a sign. Mistake #2. We stood with our luggage and stroller outside, breathing in copious amounts of second hand smoke, and waited for what seemed like forever! Cough, cough. I just kept thinking...we HAVE to get on this shuttle or we could miss our flight. Our flight was set to leave at 1:50 p.m. Thankfully, the shuttle picked up every single person and baggage in the surrounding area...and even a few more on the way.<br />
We made it to the Delta terminal and stepped inside. I pulled up my Delta app (which had just sent me a notification about boarding soon) and our boarding passes disappeared. Ok, odd, I thought. It was just there seconds ago. I searched for my trips. <i>You have no upcoming trips</i>. Very funny. Ok, stay cool and collected. I pulled up my e-ticket confirmation email for our confirmation number. I typed it into the Delta app. <i>No trip found. </i>Fine. I tried our ticket number. <i>No trip found. </i>Ok. Fine.<br />
We stepped up to the check in computers and typed in my name. <i>No trip found. </i>Alright, fine. My cool was LOST. I began to cry. I found a Delta employee and explained the situation. She ignores my distress and says I need to scan my passport. Ok, it never asked me for my passport. I explained to her again that our boarding passes were just on my phone and now they won't pull up on the computer screen. She says the same thing. "Scan your passport." Alright, so either 1. She's a robot only programmed to say one thing or 2. She is annoyed when she has to see 35 year old grown women crying because they're not following directions. Leaning towards option #2 based on her rude tone with me. But, I'm coming off a ROUGH Thursday so my emotions were shot. She finally took my passport and scanned it. Guess what?! IT DIDN'T WORK! Scanned it again. NOT WORKING. At this point...I'm beginning to believe our identities were stolen and this whole thing is a hoax. The employee finally gets my passport to scan after her sixth attempt. She has to change computers altogether to get Eric's passport to scan. But alas, we can check bags!<br />
Now for security. We waited in a long line and slowly made our way up to check our personal items and carry on. Oh, by the way, it's 12:55. Plane is boarding. Great. Eric and I walked through...no issues. Wait. Where's his backpack and the carry-on? There they are...in a bin... off to the side. They were flagged. We basically hang out in a holding pattern for someone to check our bag because there are 3 bags before us. The airport actually brings in 3 more people to check flagged baggage because there are a whole bunch of us with questionable items. We're everybody's favorite travelers. Ha! Our carry-on was ALL food so she scanned my cheez-its, applesauce pouches, and popcorn. They're all legit. Eric's food also received the OK. We're back on track. It's 1:05 p.m.<br />
Eric and I quickly used the restroom. I forgot my passport and phone in the stall...only to remember after I leave that I forgot my passport and phone. Mistake #3. Thankfully, no one used the stall after me and I was able to retrieve them ASAP. Sidenote: Should I ever be in charge of anything important? Because my batting average at this point in the game was LOW. We immediately headed from the bathroom to the boarding line...literally feeling like we had just run a marathon.<br />
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The flight attendant on our side of the plane was super accommodating and moved a young (and tall) man on the inside of our seats to an open seat that gave him more room. This, in turn, gave us 3 seats to share between the two of us. A win-win for everyone! The flight was great! Our trip ended up being a polar route of about 85°. At 90°, we would have stopped to see Old Saint Nick himself! Total flight time was shorter than anticipated at 12 hours and 25 minutes. I drank my weight in tomato juice. Yum! Eric's drink of choice was cranberry-apple. Unfortunately, he sacrificed an entire cup of this AND an entire cup of coffee to the floor of the plane. And my brand new backpack and brand new WHITE converse sneakers. A total accident of course...but makes for a funny story. Could these two items be more stain-worthy?! Haha! Ironically, my backpack smells like soy sauce. Hmmm...wish I could wash both right now.</div>
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We landed in Beijing earlier than anticipated...which worked out well because we had to wait a while to get through immigration. This time, we had to scan our fingerprints beforehand. You scan your passport, scan your left fingers, right fingers, and both thumbs. It spits out a little slip that says OK. I've never been more excited to be OK in my life. I'll be the Okayest person in the world if it means I can get through an airport without hiccups. Once we made it through immigration, we traveled down to the baggage claim. Easy stuff. Bag #1, bag #2, and...wait. Where's our stroller? </div>
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We did not bring a stroller last time, but they turned out to be a secretive commodity at our hotel and it is a nice thing to have around. Sooo we bought a new umbrella stroller and checked it in at Detroit. Perhaps that was the last time we'd see it. I found an airport employee at the end of our carousel. I showed her our baggage ticket. The man beside her started saying something to me. Not English. I kept saying I didn't know. The girl finally pulls out her Google Translate app and types "Is it big?" I tell her it's a stroller. She looks at me blankly. I begin to push an invisible stroller. She points behind me to a sign that says "Oversized luggage claim." Ohhh BIG!" I repeat. The man beside her literally throws his hands up in disgust at my slowness. Haha! We make our way over to this little section of the airport and there is our trusty stroller. In one piece! All by its lonesome!</div>
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We finally exited the airport and found a sweet lady holding a sign that says "Murray Family." She escorted us to a bathroom and then to our car that would take us to the train station. She even exchanged some money for us from her wallet because we hadn't had a chance to do so yet. The guides here are some of my favorite memories of China. They are all SO kind and accommodating! </div>
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The drive wasn't long and we were taken straight to the entrance of the Beijing Train Station. We were told we'd have to show them our passports and train tickets to enter. Then, we'd find a large screen with our train number.</div>
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We stood back and watched people for a while... trying to get our bearings. We couldn't tell exactly where we were supposed to enter. I claimed ignorance and walked up to someone at the gate. She spoke English or at least knew the word passport. We made it through security in a total of 20 seconds. Winning! Once you're inside the station, there are 13 large waiting rooms. If you find your train number, you should see a waiting room number beside it. Many trains leave from the same waiting room. Our guide from Beijing explained this all beforehand and it was SO helpful to know ahead of time! Here was our waiting room. We had just less than 3 hours to wait here for our train to depart.</div>
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We had no idea what was being announced the entire time we were in the waiting room. However, when a big group of people moved towards the gate with the same train number we were watching, we took it as a green light to board. It gave you a boarding platform number and we took an escalator down to platform 14. We found our train and then made the long walk to car #3. We paid a bit more for First Class tickets and I'm so glad we did. Lots of rooms, no crowds, and the chairs reclined! It was 8 a.m. (US time) so we had already reached the 24 hr mark of being awake. Prior to this leg of our trip, I'd say Eric and I had less than 3 hrs of sleep. It was a bullet train so we reached speeds of up to 250 mph! It was a very smooth ride though.</div>
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We made it off the train and began the search for our provincial guide. This is always my least favorite part of the trip. There are about 4 different exits at this train station so we had no idea which one we should go to and where our guide would be waiting. We started wandering before a man found us and tried to get us to ride with him. Haha! Not in a creepy way...but taxi drivers can be a little pushy. But, have no fear...we started speaking English to him! So he totally had no idea what we were saying. Then, a police officer noticed us and walked over. That always makes me a little nervous. The two men began talking about us and we kept saying we were looking for our guide. Haha. It's such an awkward thing. The police officer pointed to a sign behind him that said "Taxi." I told him we were waiting for our guide. Because that helped!? Haha! Why I kept saying this, I'm not sure. Then, from the parking lot came a man running with a phone on speaker. "Erica?" Hmm... not quite but close enough to make me think this guy might be our ticket out of here. Finally, he told the person on speaker phone to speak. It was Danielle, our guide! She came sprinting from the opposite direction...with our Murray Family sign. We had just come out the wrong way. I turned to the police officer and told him "Xiexie." He repeated it and just laughed and shook his head. At least I could say thank you in Chinese! Haha!</div>
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Our guide was so sweet and helped us get checked into our hotel. The night van ride was pretty with all of the lights! The hotel itself is pretty swanky. Marble everything. Watch out for wet floors! It was now 11 p.m. (China time- they're 12 hours AHEAD). We settled into our two-bed room (so funny) and smiled when we saw the crib already there. Aliza girl! </div>
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We tried talking with the kids, but our internet and VPN situation was spotty. After realizing we couldn't get FaceTime to work with the kiddos, we both hit the hay. Hopefully we'll get the computer thing taken care of while we're here. We'll check back soon, friends! We meet Aliza on Tuesday. It's Sunday now and our schedule is wide open!</div>
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<br />Lindsay http://www.blogger.com/profile/07848749570544732993noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151500864611836548.post-51342427398208155192019-07-17T14:34:00.000-07:002019-07-18T21:47:35.479-07:00Our Double Portion<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> When we were in the process of our first adoption, we were asked several times about how we were able to adopt a boy. Most times, I'd try to explain the shift in China's one child policy and what China adoptions looked like NOW. I'm going to share <a href="https://mineinchina.com/how-did-you-get-a-boy/" target="_blank">this link</a> to an excellent post from an adoptive Mama who is much more well-versed in this area than little ol' me. Within that SAME post, she also links an entry she wrote about the idea that a lot of adoptive parents prefer to adopt girls. This historical data means that boys are often on the waiting list for being simply that...boys! So as we approached this adoption, I had kind of thought we'd adopt a boy since they are often waiting more often than girls. This adoption wasn't to fulfill my "ideal" family...it was to further God's Kingdom in a way that He desired.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> So...shortly after my return to social media last Fall, I began scrolling through advocacy posts of waiting children, really thinking that we would be open to a boy or a girl. But, again, really thinking it'd likely be a boy. We wanted God to use our family as He saw fit. But, as I examined the tug on my heart towards down syndrome, I started focusing more on that aspect of our journey which narrowed my search just a bit. *When I say "narrow," I mean that there are several groups devoted to advocating for children with down syndrome. I searched mostly in these groups. I don't use the word "narrow" to describe the number of kiddos who have down syndrome AND need a family. There are so many kiddos waiting for families to say YES. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Here are some numbers (China Adoption Program) from February 2018.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Age 0-2: 19 girls, 96 boys</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Age 3-6: 327 girls, 804 boys</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Age 7-12: 504 girls, 1266 boys</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Age 13: 67 girls, 156 boys</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Total numbers: 3,238 kids - 917 girls and 2,321 boys</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Of the 3,238 kids waiting, 875 of these kids have down syndrome.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> At this point in my search and after focusing my time in down syndrome advocacy groups, I was feeling a small tug towards adopting a girl. I didn't want to perpetuate a statistic, but adopting a girl had been put on my heart. Perhaps, it was because I had felt strongly about a name for a daughter. A month or so before pursuing our sweet Aliza Joy...I had shared with Eric that I loved the name, Aliza, for a girl. Aliza is a Hebrew name which means joyful...but it is pronounced Ah-lee-zah. I preferred the spelling of this name (and the meaning!), but wanted to pronounce it with a long i sound. Ah-lye-zah.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> Well, fast forward to that initial conversation with someone at Show Hope (last December), and God reminded me that He is truly in every detail...and that choosing a name before we even knew who we'd welcome into our arms was not silly or without purpose...without His purpose! While the contact from Show Hope wasn't able to share any specifics about Aliza, she didn't have to share much when she used the phrase..."She is pure JOY" to describe our girl. Joy. Did you read that? Joy! This girl was JOY defined! That little "God" detail was not taken lightly. It felt SO personal and so clear.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> Towards the end of December, just before we left for Christmas break at school...I received another sweet glimpse into how God was moving and working in our adoption journey. As a Kindergarten teacher, Christmas time is often associated with gift-giving. While it's not encouraged or expected, seeing your students overcome with excitement about giving something to you...well, it's just plain heart-warming! I can usually count on a great mug or two. You see, I drink coffee <i>every</i> morning and often joke with my students that Mrs. Murray can't live without her coffee! Well, on this particular day, as I opened up a gift from one of my precious students, </span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">I was so excited to receive...a coffee mug!</span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> Except that this mug wasn't just any mug...because on one side...in the middle of heart...was that word. Aliza's word. JOY! And on the other side...the verse from Romans 15:13..."May the God of hope fill you with all <b><i>joy</i></b> and peace..." </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">I had to hold back some tears. My poor students and their emotional teacher! </span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Since we weren't officially matched with Aliza and were still finishing up our home study, we hadn't shared much about our adoption with anyone outside of our immediate family. But when I shared with this parent how much the mug and its word meant to me, the parent shared that this mug was actually not the original one she had picked out. It was one of those finds/exchanges you grab on your way to the checkout. See? God is in the details. And He uses others in His kingdom to bring about HIS plan.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> God revealed even more to me about how little faith I can have in leaving every detail to His hand. The following weeks seemed super chaotic and busy. Not only was it Christmas, but I was feeling an urgency about chasing after Aliza. From the technical perspective of the adoption process, we were not quite done with our home study. Per China's new rules, we had to have a home study before we could review Aliza's file. Previously, you could review a child's file at any point in the process. *This was quite a controversial change because often times, families would literally feel called to adopt after reviewing a file...not after beginning a home study.* A</span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">t the time that I saw Aliza's advocacy post, </span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">her file was currently with a different agency. I did some quick messaging and was able to contact the SUPER SWEET advocate who worked with Aliza's current agency and ask for her information...specifically, when her file would be released back to the Shared List. We were already working with a different agency so we couldn't transfer. And... agencies usually have files for a certain amount of time. During this period of time, the agency tries to advocate and match the child with his/her family. However, if a family is not found, the child's file is returned to the Shared List and another agency has a chance to lock the file and advocate for that child. Of course, this was all a moot point because we couldn't lock her file without a completed home study...so if a family (who had a home study) came forward for her...they'd have the opportunity to match with her. See the trickiness? I was praying...but I needed to be praying for God's will and not necessarily whether He had chosen Aliza to be a part of our family. I couldn't be upset if a family came forward to adopt her...because every child belongs in a family. I absolutely believe that. But, let me tell you, it was HARD! This Mama had fallen hook, line, and sinker for this sweet girl...but I really felt God's hand over this situation.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> Enter: A HUGE BUNNY TRAIL about the Shared List: To make muddy waters even muddier, China dissolved orphanage partnerships around the time we brought Josiah home. Partnerships allowed agencies to basically receive files directly from their partner orphanages. It allowed for some consistency of files being created and also strong relationships between the agency and orphanage...among other things. Without partnerships, the process of "locking" files became a bit of a helter-skelter process. All files were placed on this Shared List and agencies had to log on and lock files that fit their family's criteria. For lack of a better comparison, imagine a draft day of some sort...when every player, item, what have you, is released...and you refresh your computer screen a million times before the file release begins at 8:00 a.m. and then make a mad dash to lock your file. That's sort of what I envision the process is like now with China's new rules. In fact, when we first signed on with our agency, our social worker was very up front in telling us that they had not locked a file of a "mild needs" child since January. Almost a year later. *Again, remember, I'm using "mild" in a general manner as this is still defined mostly by what a family is comfortable with handling. We are also working with a different, and smaller, agency than we did with Josiah. This could also affect their ability to "lock a file."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> Back to December...and receiving the information from Aliza's agency that we needed to track her file on the OMINOUS SHARED LIST. Now, Aliza was considered a waiting child, so theoretically, her file hadn't been sought out by many families up to this point. However, we still needed to ask OUR agency to seek out her file on a specific date when it was released to the shared list and pray they could lock it for us. This seemed SUPER stressful to me. The advocate I had been speaking to suggested that our agency ask the CCCWA (<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">China Center for Children's Welfare and Adoption) to just transfer the file from her current agency to our agency when the time came. In a sense, SKIP the Shared List. Now, THAT seemed much less intense...but I would need to tell our agency what to do and when. Literally...at one point in the beginning of this journey, our social worker asked me, "So can I ask why you chose us!?" LOL. I was a little taken aback. But, I was also doing a lot of "telling" these days and wasn't really doing a lot of waiting. So </span></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-weight: lighter;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">touché</span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">! Our agency has been great though...truly!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> Long story, only <span style="font-size: xx-small;">somewhat</span> shorter, our agency was able to ask the CCCWA for her file to be transferred and that request was granted. So in January, we were able to review her file. Answered prayer! As I opened her file for the first time on my computer...I quickly scanned the top. Much of the file is translated, but it usually has both the Chinese and English information. At the very top of the first page was her given Chinese name...and wouldn't you know? Beside her Chinese name, it said: Meaning "joyful." WHAT?! God turned this "small to me" detail into a very "BIG TO HIM" detail. We had considered using Aliza's Chinese name as a middle name, but since we hadn't with Josiah...we weren't sure it made sense to change it up. But after learning that her given name meant joy, we decided it was pretty evident that we should use Joy as her middle name and cover all our bases. So Aliza Joy...essentially, Joy, Joy. A double portion! How fitting for ALL the ways God had spoken to us about this sweet and precious detail that was BIG enough to weave into our journey again and again.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> While it seemed silly to determine a name before we even knew Aliza was ours...I am in awe at how God used the word "joy" to show us His faithfulness, His goodness, and His ability to be such a personal God. Only God can take such a detail, like an over-obsessive Mama picking out a name based on its meaning, and literally weave it into all of the special turning points of this journey. It seemed like such a small detail to think about...maybe even premature...but to God...no detail is TOO small. God is in the details, friends. Always. </span><br />
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Lindsay http://www.blogger.com/profile/07848749570544732993noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151500864611836548.post-38070014271228393182019-07-07T08:58:00.001-07:002019-07-07T11:32:13.951-07:00A Story Not Yet Finished Greetings! It's been a while since I've committed any time to this virtual space of my life. Truthfully, after I posted our one year update...I decided to take a necessary break from social media. My reasons were many, but a large factor in my decision was because I was losing sleep over advocacy posts of waiting kiddos in China. So many waiting kiddos. Without families. Silly of me? Maybe. But, my heart has always been on the tender side. Perhaps to a fault. I'll never forget a fellow adoptive Mama telling me that she doesn't belong to these advocacy groups anymore because it's too hard! There are SO many kids who need a loving family. And you DO lose sleep over their sweet faces. I should have listened far sooner because I can definitely attest to the lack of sleep. So off of Facebook I went...indefinitely. After all, why do I need to search advocacy sites when I have a beautiful family right in front of me? (Foreshadowing at its finest.)<br />
When we brought Josiah home in July 2017, China's adoption program went through several big changes. A few of these included: 12 months between adoptions, the youngest child in the family needed to be 3, and having an approved home study to review a child's file. It's scary to think that the second change I mentioned would have kept us from bringing our Siah Bug home. Remember, he and our youngest biological daughter are a mere 26 days apart. We're so thankful for God's timing and wisdom in our journey to Josiah! We love our "twins" and their antics. Ha!<br />
Now, I'd be lying if I told you I hadn't thought about a second adoption even before we finished our adoption with Josiah. Because I did think about. In fact, I told Eric that I'd likely want to go to China again. A sort of "Just so you know..." statement... right before heading on a 15+ hour flight and a two week stay in a foreign country. Luckily, he's used to my crazy ideas and big heart, and yet...remains cool and collected. Now, I'd also be lying if I told you I still thought about going back to China <i>after </i>we brought Josiah home. I remember those first several months of sleepless nights and endless tantrums and thinking, <i>How STUPID of me to think that I could do this again? I am so weak! I could never do this again! </i>Now, emotionally, those thoughts probably weren't the healthiest thoughts, nor were they God's thoughts. But I definitely wasn't sure anymore how I'd feel once we reached the year mark. Thankfully, we didn't really need to think about this too much with the new rule changes. There had to be a year separating adoptions now.<br />
And then Josiah's one year home arrived. And we were sleeping. And Josiah was blossoming. And we were getting into more of a groove. Tantrums hadn't ceased completely, but they'd improved. He was even beginning to self-regulate- which was HUGE. His speech was progressing. We had even been given a blessing of longer lengths between neurology visits. Naturally, with all of these improvements, I began to have that feeling again. That feeling of going <i>back</i> to China. I'd casually bring it up to Eric and he'd kind of laugh. I'd slip back on Facebook and show him pictures from my advocacy groups. Pictures of kiddos who were still waiting. Pictures of kiddos who needed a mom, and a dad, and maybe even four siblings. I wasn't necessarily expecting a response, but moreso just waiting for him to respond with his own thoughts and feelings. I knew where I was leaning, but where was he?<br />
Going back to China couldn't be <i>my </i>decision. It had to be <i>our</i> decision. Adoption can bring a lot of joy and (good) growth into a family, but it can also bring in some ugly stuff too. Impatience, imperfection, sadness, loneliness. All fun stuff, right? Why, why, why would I want to go back to China again? Simple. Because I believe God was calling me to do just that.<br />
I remember Eric standing in our living room, perhaps just before the school year had started...and he said "Alright, let's go." I was caught off-guard by this statement. It was unprompted and out of the blue. So I asked, "Go where?" He said, "To China. Isn't that what you want to do?" Well, OBVIOUSLY, that was what I wanted to hear him say...except that it wasn't. It didn't feel right. At that moment in time, my husband had just given me the GREEN light that we could go back to China. And yet, there I sat on red. Stopped. It didn't feel like what he truly wanted at the time...at least not yet. So I told him the timing wasn't right. And we were able to have a great discussion about being on the same page in all areas before moving forward. I didn't want him to say yes because he knew it was what I wanted. I wanted him to say yes because he <i>also</i> wanted to go back. If his answer was no, then it was no. And I told him I'd have to be OK with that- no strings attached.<br />
Fast forward to later that Fall, and my feelings were a bit stronger and a bit more urgent. I was really feeling God's calling to pursue a "waiting" child. I ended my social media break and began looking at kiddos who had been waiting longer than most. Typically, these kiddos are waiting due to their medical needs or even because of "older" age. Many families are interested in children as young as possible and with mild to correctable needs. In many ways, that simply wasn't China's adoption program anymore. (There's always a BIG discussion on what defines "mild to correctable" and I wont' go into that now because it is truly dependent on what a family feels comfortable with pursuing.)<br />
At the end of this past November, I found a sweet little girl in an advocacy group I was a part of on Facebook. She was 3 at the time and had down syndrome. I could not shake her sweet face out of my mind. I talked with Eric and showed her picture to him...like I usually did with kiddos. Down syndrome had been something on my heart for a LONG time. When I first graduated college, I started subbing. And sometimes, subbing would allow me to teach in a special needs classroom. It was my favorite room to be in because of the kiddos I had the chance to interact with every time I was in there. Then, on our trip with Josiah, we met a sweet family in Guangzhou and I remember talking to the mom about this same tug on my heart. A tug that was more than a decade old. She and her husband were adopting a little girl with DS who was around 2 at the time. I firmly believe God was continuing to sow the seed that had been planted in my heart those years ago.<br />
This mom and I have kept in contact periodically since we traveled in 2017. It was the first week of December and I remember having a conversation with her about that little girl who I couldn't keep from my mind. As we ended our conversation that night, she said, "<span style="background-color: white; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">I will pray God shows you His will and reveals your next child to you in a big way so it's very clear." </span></span>Golly. I had to go back to our conversation so I could use quotes because it is THAT important to God's story of our journey to China this time. Sometimes, I struggle with asking God to make clear what I (feel I) should otherwise figure out on my own. But, I am SO THANKFUL for the bold prayers of my friend...because God spoke very clearly to me the very next day. ONLY GOD! *See why I had to quote her?!<br />
I was standing in the kitchen. (Fun side note: Eric and I ALSO decided in our kitchen that Josiah was OURS! But I digress again...) This particular night, Eric was helping me cook dinner and I sorta gasped...not that Eric was helping me cook dinner...but because I had just received the message that would change our course forever. Someone from Show Hope, reached out to me about this little girl that had been on my heart. She had seen my name come across the advocacy post about this particular girl and wanted to reach out. This Show Hope representative had been a preschool teacher at Maria's Big House of Hope and KNEW this sweet girl well. WHAT?! Can God smack me in the head any harder than that?! The messages that followed brought me to tears. The sweet girl I had been praying about was ALSO on the heart of this Show Hope teacher. In fact, this teacher shared that each month she chose a specific child from their Care Center to pray over and in December, she had changed her lock screen to a picture of this little girl so she could pray over her that month. WHAT?! ONLY GOD! I am so grateful that God uses others to bring His plan to fruition. We experienced this same love during our journey to Josiah. That moment in our kitchen is cemented into my heart forever. I showed Eric the messages. Eric looked at me and said, "Well I don't know how much more clear it can be?" So...that night, we decided to pursue our DAUGHTER. Our Aliza Joy! God has had His hand in every detail and I look forward to sharing how He has gone before us in every step of this journey. Thank you for your prayers and for following along. I'll be back to this sweet space soon!<br />
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Lindsay http://www.blogger.com/profile/07848749570544732993noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151500864611836548.post-57972203129430512862018-07-03T12:24:00.001-07:002018-07-03T20:42:14.631-07:00Hands Full, Heart Full: Month TWELVE...ONE Year!<br />
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As of TODAY, Josiah has been a Murray for an entire year. In many ways, it's hard to believe it's been that long. And yet, in some ways, it's hard to believe that it's only been 365 days.<br />
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If I'm being honest, it's been an incredibly hard year. Incredibly hard. And also incredibly broken. And even so, incredibly, incredibly blessed. We've been asked on more than one occasion if adoption has been as hard as we imagined. And truthfully, my answer falls short of clear and concise...because my answer is yes <i>and</i> no. When you prepare for adoption with training and reading, and more reading, and more training, you know the great risks you take when you embark on this journey. You've heard the horror stories. You prepare for the worst-case scenario. But until you're in the thick of it, you just simply don't. know. </div>
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I vividly remember the day we met Josiah. I remember the smells, the sounds, the feelings. I remember walking into the room and looking at him for the first time and thinking how scared he must be...how his whole life was about to change. For the good? I wasn't so sure. I picked him up and he began to cry. I attempted to comfort, but I needed to distract. He didn't care who I was and what I said. Why would he? But, I remember opening up our bag and grabbing the cookies and the stacking cups. His crying stopped. He didn't really want to eat the cookies. But he held them. First just one cookie, then a second, then a third. We played with stacking cups and his crying still ceased. Then a fourth cookie. Then a fifth. All while holding his stacking cups. The time seemed to go by rather quickly and when it was time to leave, he left with little emotion. My heart broken into a million pieces. This didn't feel "good" to me. And yet, there we were...a Mommy and Daddy once again.<br />
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I remember getting back to the hotel and sitting him down on the bed. Eric left quickly with our guide to get some things at the local Wal-Mart. This wasn't my first rodeo as a Mama and yet it was...I was so nervous to be left alone with him. What if he didn't like me? What if he cried the whole time Eric was gone? Could I do this? I didn't really know. And then, a simple game brought a smile. That smile...within the first couple of minutes...it saved me. It let me know that we'd be alright. </div>
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The rest of the trip was filled with firsts. First kiss. First crying fit. First bowel movement. (We've never been so happy about a poopy diaper!) First hug. First vomit. First solid food. First refused bottle. First nap. It was quick and slow all at the same time. But I was so thankful for that time to learn about our little boy. Eric and I will celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary in December. And to this date, I can say, that our time together in China was my most favorite experience with him yet. Odd? Maybe. But spending two weeks in a country where English is lacking and comfortability is hard to come by means that you're completely dependent on one another to get by...and it was so good for my soul.<br />
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Since we've been home, the firsts have continued. First mumbles of Mommy, first shots, first scooter rides, first time being barefoot on grass, first sentence, and we can't forget the first sensory meltdown (and the second, and the third, and the fourth). The list goes on. These firsts are often good and often bad. But we learn and change and try...over and over...until something clicks. Until we click. Until he clicks. What I've learned is that it largely depends on me. How is my attitude? How is my heart? What is my body language? Because it matters. It always does. And not just with Josiah. But with Sydney and Landon and Emmaline. And man, I've messed up a lot. I used to describe myself as patient and compassionate. But golly gee, there have been more times than I'd like to admit that I've been anything but patient or compassionate. However, if I'm aligned with God...then it <i>all</i> aligns. He works all the mess and uses it for good. God has remained faithful and continues to fill in my holes with His grace. So many imperfect holes made whole through Him. And I wouldn't be here...a year later...without any of it. I'm far from perfect...but I'm His.</div>
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Today, we spent time celebrating Josiah...our fun-loving, smiley, full-of-energy, passionate, stubborn, BOY. It seemed fitting to take him to experience SkyZone for the first time. And we were not surprised that he LOVED it!<br />
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Adoption allows God to reveal so many wonderful things...redemption, love, grace, faithfulness, goodness...to name a a few. But adoption can also reveal the darkest parts of your heart...the parts where you're challenged and defeated and left with uncertainty and despair and brokenness beyond all comprehension...and if you're not willing to see those things and feel those things...then maybe adoption isn't for you. Adoption requires a complete surrender. Surrender of that "perfect family" image. Surrender of everything you thought you once knew or understood. Adoption requires a complete surrender to Him. There is nothing that we've done to bless Josiah's life...anything that has been "good" has been the complete intervention of God <i>through</i> us as Josiah's family. And our biggest prayer is that Josiah will grow up to know how loved he is truly is...not just by us...but by God.<br />
We love you, Josiah Bug! We're so happy to have you in our lives forever. Happy Family Day!<br />
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Lindsay http://www.blogger.com/profile/07848749570544732993noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151500864611836548.post-31700279460995302032018-04-03T17:53:00.004-07:002018-04-03T19:11:44.732-07:00Hands Full, Heart Full: Month EIGHT & NINE <br />
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Month EIGHT snuck up on me last month- hence no post! And here we are...already in month numero NINE!? Wowza! Can I just admit that ever since January 1...the entire 2018 year is zooming by at lightning speed? Blazing fast over here, blazing fast. So much has happened and it's been encouraging to look back at how far we've come with our Josiah Bug. As I've mentioned before, it's often hard to see growth in its fullest extent when you're living the day-by-day grind. Isn't that often the case? As a Kindergarten teacher, March is one of my most favorite months. I call it the "lightbulb" month because so many of my kiddos start to have this enormous "CLICK" and all.the.things start falling into place. The growth I see each school year is one of my most treasured memories with each class! We can say the same thing as parents during those first few months and years of life as our little ones change and develop in both big and little ways. Sometimes we can't always see it in the day to day...but when we reflect back upon a larger period of time...we're astounded at what we see. Without further ado, here's what we've been up to in our neck of the woods!<br />
Month EIGHT brought Josiah's 2nd birthday! Of course, we were so grateful to celebrate such a big "first" with our boy. We even had the opportunity to celebrate his birthday on the day of his actual birthday! Yay! It was so fun to sing to him and watch him soak all of the attention up. And let me tell you...this boy LOVES the attention a birthday brings! I have pictures to prove it. All presents were rightfully "his" and the action of sharing was something that was not easily practiced for <b><i>weeks</i></b> following his special day. At one point, we actually had to hide some of his gifts because he was struggling too much with the whole concept. He'd be happily playing with a toy and then Emmaline would walk in and play with one of his other "gifts" and BOOM! Hello holy meltdowns! Hiding the objects for a period of time seemed to help quite a bit. Now we don't have those issues as much and meltdowns seem to be more age-appropriate.<br />
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All good things must come to an end...as seen in the picture below. Too.much.birthday. Ha! Also, it's fun to add that we literally took the first several pictures without Emmaline. Apparently, we're not a well-oiled machine as a family of SIX yet. Oops!</div>
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We also had the chance to celebrate our "first" Chinese New Year during month EIGHT. This was unchartered territory for us so we kept things simple. It was fun to think about how we can incorporate Josiah's culture into our own family. Oranges are a symbol of good luck and fortune! I was able to celebrate with my class at school too which was SO FUN. I think we'll add a few ways for Sydney and Landon to celebrate at school next year. Oranges are a simple and fun way to tie in CNY.</div>
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These pictures were some of my favorite! He was NOT keen on the idea of changing into his outfit we had purchased from China...but with a few Oreos...he'd do anything! And he was even OK with keeping the outfit on for a while. Ha! We also went to our local Chinese restaurant to celebrate. That's a tradition we're all looking forward to next year!</div>
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Month NINE brought some more fun for our Josiah Bug. We celebrated his sister's SECOND birthday (26 days flies when you're planning parties!) and we also enjoyed our first family Easter together. Egg hunts and Easter buckets are a lot of fun for this boy!</div>
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Another HUGE "first" this month was moving our boy into HIS OWN TODDLER BED. Mommy and Daddy's bedroom has never looked bigger. Ha! This was a huge blessing on so.many.levels. Emmaline was not handling the fact that he was going into our room and laying on his bed...while she was going into her room and laying in her crib. They'd often lay with each other on Josiah's mattress so this seemed like a solution we were ALL ready for with the bed situation. Annnd he loves it. He's really doing well! Emmaline started off strong and has been a bit of a stinker with the concept, but having her right beside Josiah does a lot of good for the transition. Their relationship has become such a sweet thing. Don't get me wrong...we have PLENTY of tantrums, antagonizing, physical altercations, and the like. But it's mostly good and their "twinship" is becoming a beautiful process of learning and growth. Also...Twin Mamas...you're the REAL DEAL. I applaud you!</div>
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Overall we've seen a lot of success with behavior and eating. Josiah is often a member of the CPC and can be found licking his plate after meals. If there is juice left over (from veggies, fruit, etc.) he WILL lick it or drink it any way he can. So silly. He and Emmaline love sitting at the counter for breakfast and snack time. And yes...my toddlers eat Fruity Pebbles. It's fine.</div>
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The behavior area has been a harder thing to navigate. His tantrums have lessened, but he still gets into "no" fits where all he says is "NO" on repeat as he shakes his head. Getting him to come out of these tantrums can be really difficult- no matter the distraction, no matter the ignoring, no matter the holding/hugging. We compare it to a child that is upset and kicking and screaming. Josiah used to do this a lot more...but now he mostly just says "No" over and over and over (as he shakes his head in a very exaggerated way) to let us know he is NOT happy. Trust me, buddy, we know! We have had to be really firm with him on behavior in the past couple of months. Basically, he was learning to throw fits about EVERYTHING that didn't go his way. We had to put an end to it. And since we've been firm...the behavior has drastically improved. Kids love boundaries. They NEED boundaries. Josiah is no different. Sometimes parenting a child who has joined your family in such a way as Josiah can paralyze your own natural parenting instincts. You're told to read books about this, that, and the other. You parent with "kid gloves" and feel trapped in what you can do or say. Parenting kids who come from "trauma" is different. I agree. I'm also a teacher so I definitely understand that in more ways than just being Josiah's Mama. But, I also have to admit that feeling "trapped" by this logic was a huge {negative} factor in parenting Josiah these first several months. Was this behavior age-related? Was this behavior adoption-related? Trauma-related? Normal? Abnormal? Cause for concern? We were dizzy over trying to organize everything and oftentimes only looked at things through an "adoption" lens. And as a result, our smiley son was turning into a little boy who was very upset and hard to love. It's hard to model and work on appropriate responses when you're being screamed at with an ear-piercing shrill. So we began parenting in a more similar way to how we have parented all of our other children...and we have definitely seen the fruits of such a decision. I'd say this may be uncharacteristic for adoptive families and what we are instructed to do in training...but it has worked for us and has been a blessing for our family. There are other factors that were considered when we began implementing "consequences" too...like the fact that our boy is SUPER SMART and has very good receptive language. He is really beginning to flourish and for that...we are so excited and grateful!</div>
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One of the biggest things I'm grateful for during these last several months is the opportunity that God has placed before me...to share our journey with others. Not only do I feel led to write about it...but I've been approached through social media and other ways about families who have been feeling a nudge to potentially pursue a journey of their own. And that is my biggest hope and prayer in sharing our story! While Eric and I don't know what God will allow our family to look like in a few years...we would love to come alongside other families who feel ready to step out in faith and begin a new chapter themselves. Praise God! Thanks for reading and praying and asking how we're doing. It all helps make this messy, hard, and redeeming process a worthwhile one.</div>
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<br />Lindsay http://www.blogger.com/profile/07848749570544732993noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151500864611836548.post-16720596175363243222018-02-04T10:22:00.002-08:002018-02-04T12:00:56.635-08:00Hands Full, Heart Full: Month SEVEN <br />
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This is the second month that has seemed to go by a little less quickly...and I'm so grateful for that feeling. If I had to pick a month where I've felt like life was a little more "normal"...this month would be it! Admittedly, I have felt more like myself as a mom. The preceding months were largely a blur with numerous appointments, sicknesses, procedures, and behaviors...and all on little to no sleep. I never want to make light of the blessing that adoption is to our family...but this journey has also been full of the most challenging and frustrating moments in my journey as a parent. Adoption is HARD stuff. I am constantly working to be more patient (and trust me, I am presented with plenty of opportunities to succeed and FAIL at this each day) and give more grace without completely losing sight of how far we've come...because we have come a LONG way since July!<br />
Yesterday, we had our six month check-up with the IAC at Nationwide. In speaking with the team there, we realized just how well Josiah truly is doing since he's been home. Like re-reading this blog, we were able to reflect on all the growth we're continuing to make together. One of our biggest challenges has been behavior and discipline. Our little boy has quite the IQ (read: smarty pants!) and we've felt a bit trapped in how we can effectively teach him appropriate consequences. But the doctors were in complete agreement with some of the strategies we've used and they seem to be helping Josiah understand how to interact appropriately in daily tasks. For example, we had a stand-off in the church bathroom this morning where he basically screamed and hit me for an extended period of time. Basically, we continue to remind him that hands are for "nice touches" and until he signs "All done" and says "Sorry" we don't move an inch. He also has to ask to be held during this time. He refuses to communicate during his tantrums so we're working hard to fix that response. This boy is stubborn...but so is his Mama! Overall, I feel like this consistency is definitely working! It doesn't make the situation less frustrating or less exhausting...but we're seeing positive change. Whew! Here's a quick recap of our SEVENTH month with Josiah Bug!<br />
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These two cuties are still banana-lovin' fools! In fact, they officially have adopted this word in their vocabularies. Their versions of "banana" are quite different from each other though. Learning two toddler dialects is quite interesting!</div>
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At any given time, these two can be found holding hands, hugging, or kissing. They are rather affectionate towards each other which melts my Mama heart. They are also more than capable of hitting, antagonizing, teasing, and stealing toys. We've even had a couple biting experiences which is a first for our family! Yowza! I have loved watching their relationship grow. They have such different personalities but they truly compliment one another.<br />
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We tried our hand at some snow-painting! Josiah LOVED it. We've yet to take him out in his snowsuit yet. I hear we may have a chance to try that this week in Ohio!? We shall see. I think he'd enjoy it. </div>
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Another new trick this month was "snapping" with Mama. This was just the cutest thing. I was snapping to some music in the kitchen one day and I thought my snaps sounded a little louder than usual. I looked over to find Josiah sitting on the chair...moving his fingers...and clicking his mouth. I couldn't believe it. It was precious!</div>
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Josiah basically eats anything we put in front of him now. There are definitely still days of picky-eating but we are so pleased with how well he has adjusted. He's such a copycat so I think he's more willing to try things now. One of his newest favorites...tomatoes! Cooked or fresh! It doesn't matter! He's definitely my first baby to willingly eat these.<br />
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He loves wearing Daddy's hat...and buckets.</div>
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And we're having some success at using the potty! It's not something I'm trying to push by any means...but I think he'll be ready in the next couple months! M&Ms are this little boy's love language! His sister might need a bit more convincing.</div>
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I can't wait to celebrate Josiah's SECOND birthday at the end of this month! I know he'll love a day where it's all about HIM. Ha! Who can blame him? We are definitely going to celebrate this special day with a lot of FUN. That is for sure. Thanks for reading, friends!</div>
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<br />Lindsay http://www.blogger.com/profile/07848749570544732993noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151500864611836548.post-23318367035570568142018-01-04T04:52:00.000-08:002018-01-04T04:52:28.186-08:00Hands Full, Heart Full: Month SIX<div style="text-align: center;">
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I have to say...this felt like a slow month- for me at least- but in all of the best ways! We've officially held our boy for half of a YEAR! That fact alone seems crazy to think about...but here we are again with a quick recap of Josiah's SIXTH month as a Murray.<br />
My favorite accomplishment for Josiah this month was the word "MAMA!" Selfish of me? Yes. :-) He has never used or been able to repeat this word when we've tried. The <i>m </i>sound is tricky for him and I don't think he was connecting it all together...but this month...he figured it out! I'm his MAMA! And he even calls for me- which totally melts my heart.<br />
Also, we made yet another change in the sleep department this month. But it's been such a positive one! We took Josiah's crib mattress OUT of his crib and moved it into our bedroom. He now sleeps on his mattress...on the floor...beside his Mama. And bedtime is no longer dreaded each and every night. He loves it. He even naps there with some consistency! We're still dealing with some pretty intense night terrors and/or tantrums in the middle of the night...usually from 2:00 a.m. to 4:00 a.m...but overall, it's been a big improvement. It's so encouraging how this change has positively impacted his eating too. We have far less trouble at mealtime now. Yay!<br />
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Josiah tried footy-jammies for the first time (Thanks, Grandma!) and seems to like them. He's our first kiddo that hasn't had to shed them in the middle of the night due to overheating. His other siblings are giant hotboxes so we could never put them in these kind of jams. Ha! So cute! It's really made Emmaline want to try on some of Sydney's old footies. But she can never make it the entire night. Sooooo we skip them. </div>
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Josiah LOVES helping with the laundry. He also enjoys being in just a diaper and thinks he is pretty hilarious running around the house in such attire.</div>
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He's still good for at least one high chair nap and one floor nap per month. Haha!</div>
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He now eats an entire banana by himself! Huge sensory victory!!!</div>
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A BIG set of firsts for our Josiah were Christmas Eve, Christmas morning, and three family Christmases. Oh my! Here he is at Christmas Eve service with his big bro. Josiah is still pretty cooperative with smiling for pictures. His younger sis...not.so.much.<br />
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Christmas morning started out extremely rough for our little guy. He was breaking a pair of sunglasses so I had to take them away...which triggered a complete meltdown. Eventually, we could distract him and he got to enjoy opening his presents wrapped in the cutest panda wrapping paper! It was the first Christmas we've had in a long time where we haven't had to leave the house for another get-together. Such a BIG blessing for our family this year!</div>
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This boy LOVES putting things into containers so this popcorn set was right up his alley!</div>
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Another FIRST this month was a professional hair cut. I know. Finally, right?! He did really well! Of course he sat on my lap, but I expected that...the cut almost put him to sleep! It was very relaxing for him. Here he is showing me his "good" side. </div>
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Just ordinary shenanigans with his siblings...</div>
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We were so, so grateful to have a vacation from work and school this Christmas season so that we could spend quality time together as a family. It was much needed in the rush of life as of late! We also started "warm fuzzy" jars for Sydney and Landon as a way to notice all of the positive things they do each day. It's been a tough transition for them and tensions can be pretty high with all of the attention and care Josiah (or Emmaline) needs. Both big sibs filled their jar so Eric and I took them out on a movie date! And we stopped at their favorite place in the world...Barnes & Noble. Cookies, hot chocolate, and a new chapter book made for two HAPPY kids! P.s. If you haven't seen Ferdinand...go. It's completely adorable.</div>
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We are looking forward to the New Year and expect 2018 to brings its challenges and setbacks. But we're looking forward to coming out on the other side with new perspectives, changed attitudes, and overall growth for the better! I also expect this to be the year of "potty training." Oye. Our babes are going to be TWO in February and March. HOW!? Celebrating our two, 2 year olds will be quite the adventure! I'm already seeing plenty of toddler tantrums these days. Actually, make that double the tantrums. I did choose a word for 2018 though...and that word is patience! Suits me just right...don't ya think?! This Mama is going to need a whole lotta patience. And coffee. Ha! Thanks for following along, friends!</div>
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<br />Lindsay http://www.blogger.com/profile/07848749570544732993noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151500864611836548.post-70160030289747868002017-12-04T18:19:00.003-08:002017-12-04T18:53:11.565-08:00Hands Full, Heart Full: Month FIVE <br />
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*I have to note that every single time I get out this blanket...he comes over and sits down...and then looks up and smiles while I drag over a chair. Golly, he's such a genius. Thanks for obliging your Mama, Bug!*</div>
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Technically, yesterday marked FIVE whole months with our Siah Bug. And if I'm being completely honest...I just couldn't bring myself to try and write a post for this month. While all months have had their challenges, I think this past month was the most exhausting for us- both physically and emotionally. Exhausting not in the form of doctor visits, but rather in the form of s.l.e.e.p. I'm typically a person that can go on very little sleep...but this last month met me with pure exhaustion. There were nights when I was getting maybe a couple of hours of sleep at most. And those sleepless nights were happening consecutively...with no end in sight. *We even went to Urgent Care a few weeks ago because I was convinced he had an ear infection due to the sleep struggles. But alas, no ear infection...yet.*<br />
For the past four months, I've co-slept with Josiah. The first month of crib-sleeping was miserable and no one was sleeping. And we saw immediate relief with co-sleeping since that was what we did in China too. However! Co-sleeping with Josiah is actually more draining than any of my other newborn experiences with Sydney, Landon, or Emmaline. You see...when a newborn cries...you can meet their needs by diaper changes or feeding or rocking. When Josiah cries, there really isn't any meeting of his needs. He doesn't want held. He doesn't want milk. Or water. No new diaper. He just screams. And screams. And screams. For sometimes hours on end. We've read a lot about night terrors and I definitely think that is a legitimate possibility. But it seems that something else might be going on...which is why we were SO excited for his BAER procedure today.<br />
Eric and I missed several alarms this morning, but thankfully, we got out of the house by 5 a.m. to drive to the hospital for a 6 a.m. show with both Josiah and Emmaline in tow. We waited two hours before going back and beginning the sedation...this time Josiah had to be put under using general anesthesia. The "why" behind this different plan is long and involved and I had to be Mama Bear more than I cared to be over the course of several phone calls...but we kept our appointment in order to get answers sooner than {even} later and trusted God that He would see Josiah through this procedure with the same ease as Josiah's MRI sedation. And God truly did. Josiah did very well waking up from the anesthesia and we were pleased with his results. The ENT ended up putting tubes in both ears because Josiah had quite a bit of thick fluid behind his right ear drum (Was this causing our HORRIBLE sleeping again?! Definitely possible!). His left ear drum passed with flying colors under all frequencies which was a huge answer to prayer because this has always been his problematic ear. The right ear started off really well during the BAER...but the audiologist ran into trouble when his ear started draining so she couldn't get it to show normal hearing. She did not feel he was likely a candidate for hearing aids and thought the tubes were going to be our answer to all of Josiah's failed hearing tests. YAY! We're going to check into some speech therapy just to make sure we're not falling behind during this crucial language development stage. And we'll do a hearing test on the right ear in a few weeks to see if the audiologist can feel good about what she's getting the right ear to do.<br />
Here's our boy when I finally went back and waited for him to wake up. Admittedly, I cried when they put the mask on him and watched him scream with the initial sedation. He's been through so much. Seeing him so peaceful in the crib melted my heart though. The nurses kept commenting on his perfect little lips. <3<br />
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My biggest complaint about today was the fact that we weren't working with a pediatric sedation team like we were for his MRI. If you remember from my last post, Josiah had the most successful IV stick to date because they were willing to listen to me and use an ultrasound machine to find a good vein. Of course, he still didn't like it...but it was one poke and success. I shared these same concerns and suggestions to our anesthetist and she claimed that because Josiah would be asleep he wouldn't feel anything anyway. Um...last time I checked...he wasn't a testing subject to experiment with?! I had to get my Mama Bear suit on to inform her that whether he "felt" it or not... I did NOT want her poking around his arms several times before finding a vein. She assured me they would take great care of him...and that the medicine usually made veins "plump" up. Long story short...his veins don't "plump" up ever and now our boy has some bruises on his hand from FAILED IV pokes. I will definitely be sharing my complaints with the powers that be. Ugh. Mama knows best. All in all, it was a LONG day but we're so hopeful that these tubes will help Josiah in so many ways! And maybe we can all sleep? Because we can't understand how our son is even standing most days. It's affecting him in big ways too!<br />
Now...since the sleeping was so bad this month...we finally decided to try the crib again this past weekend. His screaming fits were waking up the rest of the house so we had nothing to lose. The first night didn't go so well with crying and constant jumping...talk about stamina! Not good. But eventually, he fell asleep. CIO is a huge no-no (probably to many non-adoptive parents...but definitely!!!!! for adoptive parents) so that was hard...but honestly, living on such little sleep as a parent isn't healthy either. Patience and grace don't exist with sleeplessness. The second night in his crib was better...and last night...was basically a dream! He watched Emmaline and took her lead. He cried a bit...but would look over at her and see her laying down...and then realize he was supposed to do the same. HUGE breakthrough! (<i>I told Eric that at this point...if Emmaline asked for a pony...I'd give it to her! We love you Sugar Bear! And Mommy and Daddy owe you big time for all of your great modeling. Haha!)</i> I should note...that all 3 nights...Josiah slept through the ENTIRE night...in his crib. So while it did take some crying...we have felt mostly positive about tackling the crib again. Here's praying this streak continues. And if it doesn't, hopefully I'm in a much better state to handle the incessant crying and blood-curdling screaming.<br />
Eating is still inconsistent, but he's getting better at eating fruits for us. The textures don't seem to bother him as much. He'll eat a whole banana is one sitting so that's improvement. This is still definitely a trigger for his tantrums though. We're trying to find a happy medium and not die on EVERY single hill. But, he also can't live off of cheese puffs...which is a bummer for our cheese puff-loving boy. Truth.<br />
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Here's a recap of some other things that happened this month! Not pictured: A SECOND hair cut by Mommy. I know, I know. I said I'd never...but we had family pictures and we were desperate. It's not as terrible...but I'm not about to make it a regular thing. Promise, Siah! xoxo</div>
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The bigs had a living room sleepover this month so that was an open invitation for Josiah to lay down. If something or someone is on the floor...SO IS JOSIAH! Haha!</div>
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Josiah enjoyed our Christmas Parade in town! Santa rides down the street on a fire truck and everything...which made this boy's whole face LIGHT UP! It's definitely a face I'll always remember. </div>
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Thanksgiving was at our house this year which was soo helpful for this little boy and not being overstimulated. Such a blessing! (Thanks, Ma! ;-) You can have it back next year. xoxo)</div>
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Jingle, our Elf, came and brought the kiddos Christmas jams. The boys match and the girls match. Be still my Mama heart! Josiah and Emmaline love finding Jingle every morning. They're both really good at saying Jingle's name clearly too!</div>
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Josiah LOVED decorating the tree. He would cup both hands around each ornament and grit his teeth and shake. True excitement! Such a sweet FIRST we got to share with our boy this year!</div>
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Reading bedtime stories in front of the Christmas tree is a favorite nighttime activity. </div>
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Eating FISH sticks is always a victory. Don't worry...they're #wildcaught. He ate TEN of them though so I was proud...because main dishes are a battle for us. And fish is protein, people! YAY!</div>
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We look forward to celebrating Jesus' birth with Josiah during month SIX. We can't wait to see what he thinks about Christmas and all it entails. The food, the presents, the family. We won't have the luxury of staying home during this holiday season...but we're praying we can support Josiah as needed with all of the extra "stuff" that December brings. It can definitely be an overwhelming time so we'll try and follow his lead. It's been fun shopping for his Four Gifts. Sydney and Landon helped me pick out his "Want" already and we can't wait for him to see it. </div>
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Enjoy this December, friends. I pray you're able to relax and appreciate the slowness at times. That is so important for me to remember in this season of go, go, go. Blessings!</div>
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Lindsay http://www.blogger.com/profile/07848749570544732993noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151500864611836548.post-25162658453140988942017-11-03T19:16:00.002-07:002017-11-03T19:16:27.231-07:00Hands Full, Heart Full: Month FOUR <br />
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Months keep getting faster...and life has seemed to move at a similar pace. Work is busy. School is busy. Home is busy. Life is busy. I'm sure I'm just taking a number in this game called LIFE. But! Here's a quick peek at what month FOUR looked like for our family of six. Can I remember anything that's happened in the last few weeks?! We'll see!<br />
The beginning of the month meant big things for our little boy. Josiah was sedated for an MRI so we could have accurate and updated scans of his brain. China would not share Josiah's previous CT scans so we merely had a diagnosis of his special need based on their report. After his scare in month ONE, we needed to see this MRI to determine a plan of care and whether his diagnosis was accurate. Josiah had to get an IV which was the part I was looking forward to the least...as his past experiences have been nothing short of horrific. Our sedation nurse was amazing though and listened to me when I shared my concerns about his IV. His veins have been near impossible to find in the past so she didn't hesitate to use the ultrasound machine to find a viable vein and it worked SO WELL! Now, don't get me wrong...he hated it and screamed like a banshee per usual...but it didn't take more than 1 poke. VICTORY! And again, the nurses commented on his screaming stamina. That seems to be a recurring comment for our little guy. Yikes.<br />
When Josiah was done with the MRI, he snapped back to reality rather quickly. In fact, he wanted to run around immediately...except for the fact that his head felt like a cannon ball and he had zero head control. That made things interesting. The nurse let us bring all of our "baggage" down to the main floor with a red wagon since we had Emmaline too. Neither kiddo wanted to ride in the wagon...so our diaper bags got a luxurious ride. Eventually, Josiah wanted to sit in after it was all said and done and we were ready to go. Ha! We got the MRI results back and his diagnosis (per China) was confirmed. He has a rare brain malformation. We were fully aware of this need when we said yes to his file. Thankfully, he is not showing any negative effects right now. We'll continue to monitor his behavior and ability to learn as he grows. We may find that reasoning or other critical thinking skills are difficult for him. Or we may not. Only time will tell. We are grateful for a positive report and know that God has our boy in the palm of His hand.<br />
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It was nice to have the rest of the MRI day to relax with these two goofs. They do enjoy each other's company quite a bit!<br />
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Josiah always plays "doctor" when he comes home from one of our many, many visits to a medical facility. He's getting quite handy with a stethoscope. </div>
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Here he is being "one of the big kids" and watching a little Family Feud with mom and dad. He is the definition of "monkey see, monkey do"...and sometimes it's adorable...and sometimes it's not. ;-) This would be one of those adorable times.</div>
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Josiah was supposed to have another procedure called the BAER done along with his MRI. During this procedure, they'd hook up a computer to both ears and go through a series of sounds at all ranges to figure out where Josiah's exact problem is from his brain to his ear. However, when the nurse went to check his ear canals using some thingamajig...she wasn't getting a lot of movement from either ear. I told her this was considered "normal" for our boy and we've never had anything BUT no movement. That's why we were here in the first place. But alas, she had to call the audiologist who did a few tests of her own and determined that his ears were not healthy enough to conduct the test. I was...what you might call...frustrated. Josiah had just finished a 10-day medication for an ear infection. At this point, he had been on three different antibiotics for ear infections...we were at FOUR ear infections in three months (his first one was in China and we didn't know). Poor boy! Admittedly, I cried and our superhero sedation nurse swooped in and told me she'd make sure we had a game plan before we left. To make this long story slightly shorter, we made a series of phone calls to our ENT who, in fact, scheduled Josiah for a BAER procedure in December. This means more sedation. He'll also have an ear exam done while sedated so hopefully we can get answers as to why he isn't passing any of his hearing tests. I was not a happy Mama Bear with that audiologist who did not even consult our ENT. Thankfully, he handled the sedation very well so we are praying that we have a similar experience in December.</div>
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Other highlights this month include: Josiah's first trip to Leaders Farm...complete with goat-feeding, giant slides, and cinnamon sugar donuts! Donuts not pictured. We ate them too fast. </div>
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Josiah also got to experience Sydney's 8th birthday which meant he spent four hours last Saturday with five eight-year old girls. Can you stay overstimulated?! The girls absolutely LOVED Josiah (and Emmaline too). And Josiah loved them equally as much. But we're noticing that he definitely has a limit when it comes to stimulation. We've had to pull back in a few areas in order to control this a bit more. For example, we've not ever been much of a "tickling" family because I, personally, hate being tickled. So I don't tickle my kiddos. The only time we ever tickle Josiah is if he's throwing a tantrum and needs the extra sensory. It can usually snap him out of it. If we tickle Josiah at any other time, he becomes overactive and out of control. It's hard to calm him down. I've also taken a break from going to second service at church with Josiah because we haven't put him into the nursery yet...and having him in Sunday School with me means he runs around the room going up to anyone and everyone. Again, this can all be good and normal stuff. But for our boy, it gets to be too much and can affect his mood and behavior for the rest of the day. We're still learning each day about what is too much!</div>
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To wrap up our fourth month with Josiah, we went trick-or-treating with the kiddos. Josiah and Emmaline were Mickey and Minnie. I got zero good pictures because...they're toddlers...and Josiah felt LESS than amused about a costume. See proof below.</div>
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Luckily, after about twenty minutes of screaming and crying, he warmed up to his plump mouse body and decided to try this door-to-door thing. Once he learned that food was being passed out, it became a little more interesting. Actually, he loves to stand on the back of our sit-and-stand stroller so that in itself was entertaining. It was super cold so we almost left the babes with Grandma H. but we decided to give it a try with the whole gang. And we survived! Emmaline LOVED walking on her own and carrying her pumpkin. Josiah loved eating snacks the best. And family pictures are a struggle. For real.</div>
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Sleep has seen some improvement, but nothing is consistent. Josiah always gives us at least one terrible week of sleep where it's incessant screaming throughout the night. I'm fairly certain he has an ear infection right now as sleep has started to worsen again. Last night, he took more than two hours to fall asleep after not napping AT.ALL during the day. How is that even possible?! I am the one who puts him to bed and the consistency has seemed to help...but it also means I'm lucky if my contacts are taken out and my teeth are brushed because he takes so long to fall asleep and I dare not leave the bed to do ANYTHING. Most times, he falls asleep directly on top of my head. </div>
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We're also continuing to work on eating. We learned that Josiah LOVES fish. (And Emmaline loves tartar sauce.) Haha! He isn't a great eater for us and will refuse to eat much except yogurt. It's still trial and error with him at mealtime. </div>
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We are hopeful for a great month and more progress. We'll have Thanksgiving in a few weeks and that definitely has the potential to be an overstimulating experience for Josiah. And then there's Christmas and all the stops that usually entails. We have definitely found that sometimes we just have to say "no" when it comes to certain things. It just gets to be too much for all of us.</div>
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As always, we appreciate your prayers. I'm convinced that they have kept me somewhat alive and sane. My excessive amounts of caffeine each day could also be helping. ;-) But thank you, thank you for following along and keeping us in your thoughts and prayers. This is the hardest thing we've ever done...but it's worth it. We know that. But it doesn't take away the fact that it is a daily grind of HARD stuff. Until next month! </div>
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P.s. We got to spend a quick session with our dear friend, Suzy, who took our adoption announcement pictures years ago! She captured some sweet moments of our little family. The babes were NOT their smiley selves and none of our tricks seemed to be working. Stinkers. But Suzy always seems to catch some great shots! xoxo</div>
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<br />Lindsay http://www.blogger.com/profile/07848749570544732993noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151500864611836548.post-31925946214886048202017-10-03T17:15:00.002-07:002017-10-03T17:21:00.586-07:00Hands Full, Heart Full: Month THREE<div class="p1">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;"> Today marks MONTH THREE with our Josiah Bug. I sort of can’t believe yet another month has passed by already. But then again, it feels like we've been together so much longer! I’d love to say we’ve conquered a lot of things these past several weeks, but the reality is…we’re still adjusting. Step by step...and sometimes...day by day. Who am I kidding?! Maybe even hour by hour! I feel like a broken record, but it’s important to remember that this continuous adjustment is normal. I can’t tell you how many times I read stories in my China Adoption group that emulate our life with Josiah. Sleep issues. Ear issues. Eating issues. These are all struggles for SO MANY adoptive families. While reading some of the struggles can be scary, it is more than anything…encouraging. We are not alone.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>One of the biggest changes this month has been (Mommy) going back to work and sending Josiah to a sitter. We’ve been plagued by sickness and other unfortunate things that have caused both Eric and myself to miss more work than we would like (and now to a point where it’s more than we <i>can </i>miss<i>) </i>so I use the term “going back to work” quite loosely. I’ve yet to work a full Wednesday! Fog has taken a couple of those days and then Josiah had a fever last Wednesday so Eric and I split the day to take care of him. The missed work and messed up routine has made adjustments to life a bit trickier and downright stressful. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;"> Josiah has done fairly well tagging along with Emmaline each day to the sitter. It’s hard for me to accurately define his reaction to being dropped off each morning. I’m so quick to relate everything back to the fact that we’ve only been together for three short months. But, there’s also the reaction of normal anxiety exhibited by children when they’re dropped off in a new environment the first several times. The other week, my mom asked me to think about when our other kiddos started going to the sitter. Were there tears for them? And as I thought back, there were tears…so I have to remember that some of this anxiety could be normal. Once he’s there, he plays and eats like we’d hoped he would.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> It just sort of makes mornings a bit interesting when you're trying to figure out what "trick" will work and possibly ease his transition. Kids are smart so it's no surprise that they catch on quickly to what you're trying to do. As a result, we've not been able to make the same thing work two days in a row. Sometimes we've been able to use food, some days we can use his shoes, and some days we just have to do a "pass the baby" and run. Hopefully, we'll be able to find some more regularity in that area this month.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>This next month, in general, is a huge one for our ‘Siah Bug. We’ve got an MRI in the middle of the month as well as a test called the BAER. We were referred for the BAER test after seeing an ENT and Audiologist. Both the MRI and BAER require sedation so we were mostly thankful to push back Josiah's originally-scheduled MRI in order to have just one sedation procedure. We also have a cardiology appointment to check on his ASD that is supposedly a non-issue. Again, we’re checking all of these doctors off our initial list. Actually, we’re on our way home from Columbus as I type because we saw a Urologist today. All looks good in that arena. YAY! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;"> Yesterday, I took Josiah to the doctor after dealing with high fevers again last week. I was not shocked when the doctor told me he had an ear infection. I believe this makes #4 for our poor boy. Remember, I’m only on our MONTH THREE post. Yikes! Once he has the BAER test done, we’ll follow-up with our ENT during the first week of November to discuss next steps. We’re still slightly surprised that he cannot pass a hearing test because he has picked up language so well. He now says “Sit down!” when Emmaline stands on the furniture. And he shrugs his shoulders when we ask where something is…and he says "toot toot" as he points to his belly when he passes gas and he says “Uh oh!” when he drops something on the ground. Soooo...all of the important stuff is basically covered. He still likes to parrot a lot of what we say so that is encouraging. We’re really hoping to get some answers this month about his MRI and hearing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Sleeping has seen some changes. To be honest, he slept SO WELL when we got home from the hospital. It was through-the-night sleep without any coughing and no terrors/tantrums. Since that first week, sleep has been a different story. We DO have a good routine now so that has been a blessing. Eric and I try to put the big kids to sleep first because Josiah requires one of us to lay with him for an extended period of time. When we were trying it the opposite way…Eric or I always missed out on bedtime routines for Sydney and Landon. SO this way…Eric and I can both try and read stories to the older two. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;"> Josiah now goes into each of their bedrooms to give his big bro and big sis smooches…and then Josiah and Mommy head down the hallway to turn on his night light and sound machine. Eric purchased the sound machine/night light and surprised us with it…and it’s been such a huge deal to Josiah at night time. It is HIS thing to turn on and then he always gives me a high five!<span class="Apple-converted-space"> He loves it. In fact, one night it was still on and I had to have Sydney run ahead and turn it off so that Josiah could still do his "thing." Heaven forbid we mess this routine up! It's working!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;"> Settling down for bed is becoming easier…it’s just the staying asleep part we’re working on right now. But, knowing he has yet another ear infection, I can’t help but think that he slept so well because he was on a strong antibiotic for an ear infection and felt TRULY WELL at night. We shall see if his sleep is affected now that we’re on yet another antibiotic.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Josiah has gained almost 5 pounds since we’ve had him home! He still has the skinniest little legs, but his face is filling out and he’s got a few more acorns in his cheeks for the winter time. He also has a bit more of a belly than when we first met him! We’re not quite into 24 month clothing…but he’s getting closer. His “younger” sister is rocking 2T quite well. Our two cuties sure keep us BUSY, BUSY. At yesterday’s doctor appointment, Landon was my only “big” helper and it definitely changed the dynamic of our visit. Essentially, I had triplets that I was trying to coerce into a giant building as we dodged cars, automatic doors, and people coming out of elevators. We met the nicest man who asked if they were “all mine” and then said how cute they were. Naturally, he followed that comment with a statement about how BUSY I must be! I smiled and told him I even had ONE MORE at home that called me Mom.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> We’re stressed…but we’re also blessed. Cliche? Probably. But, we prayed and prayed and prayed for this family and we believe God is using all of our struggles for His glory. I often need to remember that He indeed SEES us and knows exactly how our story will continue to unfold. Until we know what the next several pages bring, I continue to pray for patience, grace, discernment, wisdom, and did I mention…patience?! Mercy!</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> And because I know you all come for the pictures...here they are...our growing boy!</span></div>
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(After-work naps are sometimes a MUST.)</div>
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(He is really in to sitting on the potty. He even censored the picture on his own!)</div>
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(He just got done saying "Uh-oh" in this picture.)</div>
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Lindsay http://www.blogger.com/profile/07848749570544732993noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151500864611836548.post-86042457078084701602017-09-03T18:41:00.000-07:002017-09-03T19:28:54.010-07:00Hands Full, Heart Full: Month TWO And just like that...we've experienced another month with Josiah in our lives. Wow! Time sure flies when you're having fun. And fun we're having! But there's also a lot of hard. Sometimes it's heavy on the fun...sometimes it's heavy on the hard. Here's a glimpse of Month TWO!<br />
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At the beginning of August, we had our initial visit with Nationwide International Adoption Clinic. Eric and I had to get Josiah to Columbus for a 9AM appointment. We were told it could be up to three hours so they encouraged us to bring lots of things to occupy our little guy. So we did! Stacking cups, snacks, books, snacks, a pom pom sorter, some Little People, and snacks. Did I mention snacks?!<br />
Overall, the visit was AMAZING. We met with so many wonderful doctors and professionals. They were all so kind and kept apologizing about how far we had driven and how long we were in the office. I insisted that it was not a big deal because everyone was SO kind! It was totally worth the drive. During our visit, our room had a revolving door. Figuratively speaking. We saw a speech therapist, an occupational therapist, a psychologist, an audiologist, and then the general doctor. Our appointment lasted three hours and then some. Basically, we have to work on gathering baseline data for certain areas so we can track Josiah's progress. We also have to work on updating several tests that were done when he was first brought into the orphanage. All of these tests and scans were never given to use with his medical file so we don't really have an idea about the extent of some of his potential medical needs. Also, since he had certain diagnoses in his file, we have to work our way through figuring out whether these diagnoses are accurate and how they might be affecting our sweet boy. One of the things we needed to check off our list was a kidney ultrasound. Thankfully, we were able to complete that later in the afternoon. Of course, it was a very LONG day in Columbus, but we were so thrilled with our experience there. Here's our rockstar boy doing what he does best...snacking!<br />
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Some of our visit highlights included the doctor giving me a big hug when she saw me in the hallway. Technically, that was a highlight for just me. BUT! She was actually on her way to another patient, and HAD to stop and give me a hug and tell me that she heard how well Josiah was doing so far with the other assessments and interviews. How amazing is that?! In general, the doctor was very impressed with Josiah. Some of the concerns she had about him (based on some video footage we had been given prior to meeting him) were immediately thrown out the window.<br />
Josiah was also given a Bayley's Cognitive assessment. Due to excessive snacking, he refused to do some of the tests...but still managed to score "Advanced." The psychologist was slightly shocked. This was following her speech about how we shouldn't worry if he didn't do well because that was very typical of kiddos who are adopted. We knew this information, but it was nice to be reminded again that this wasn't going to define Josiah. Remember, for every YEAR that a child is in an institution, you can expect six months worth of delays. So...Josiah was 17 months at the time...and could have scored as an 11 month old. But instead, he scored as a 21 month old! Even without completing a few of the tests! Naturally, I cried. I was so proud of him and so thankful for the caretakers who loved and taught our boy while we weren't there to love on him. Eric and I also laughed a little because we felt like he really did understand so much of what we were saying to him and at the rate he was picking up words, etc...it really made sense to us. God is good!<br />
We'll go back in February to check in again with the team and discuss new progress and any areas of concern. In the mean time, we have to check off some doctor's appointments. In the next couple of months, we'll visit the cardiologist, the neurologist, another audiologist, and a urologist. Phew! That's a mouth full- or at least a calendar full!<br />
This month has definitely required us to dive a little deeper into "normal" life. According to my contract, I can take twenty, consecutive days in relationship to our adoption. Not much of a maternity leave. But, I don't have a lot of sick time built up after having Emmaline so I just decided to take the first two weeks of the year off. Things are definitely interesting in our house right now!<br />
For starters, this is my first "maternity leave" that doesn't involve nursing a baby. WHAT?! While that makes it easier in some ways...it's also difficult because twin toddlers just don't like sharing attention sometimes. This is definitely more of a struggle for Josiah than Emmaline. She does a really nice job (mostly) of sharing and comforting him when he's upset. But a lot of times, there's no comforting Josiah when he's upset. I don't even think he knows why he is crying half the time. And this boy can cry. For a long time. Like more than 30-40 minutes without stopping. It's hard to get him to snap out of it. Not even holding him helps. These fits are hard. It makes my connection to HIM difficult at times. It's definitely a process on both ends. He's attaching to us...but we're also attaching to him. Of course, we LOVE our little guy...but learning to handle all of his tantrums and fits is very different. Parenting, in general, is very different with a child who comes from a traumatic past. *Josiah (although he spent time in a loving environment) is still considered to have come from a traumatic past.* We're still learning about each other.<br />
Here are just some of the FIRSTS Josiah experienced this month: Two doctors visits. Shots (with more to come...Boo!). A failed blood draw. A successful blood draw. <---Both were AWFUL by the way! Just awful! A parade. The county fair. The babysitter. Swimming in the baby pool. His cousin's volleyball game. The zoo. A trip to our favorite store- Barnes & Noble. Annnnnd his first hair cut...which I did...and it totally got out of control. I was supposed to just trim the hair over his ears and then next thing you know?! He's without sideburns and resembles an Amish version of Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber. I'm sorry, buddy! NEVER AGAIN. I promise.<br />
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While I had started writing a lot of this post last weekend...I wasn't expecting to add an entire section about another unexpected first: a hospital admission. On Wednesday, Josiah woke up with a fever. I wasn't too surprised simply because he seemed to have some drainage issues with his ear and nose and he still coughs a lot in the night. This cough is something the doctors just haven't dug into very much and it's been frustrating. Wednesday was a fog day (yeah OHIO!) for the older two so I decided to take all four kiddos shopping and out to eat. Why not live a little?! At lunch, I noticed Josiah was shaking a little. It was more like a shiver...he seemed cold. I could tell his fever was back up again so I called the doctor to schedule a sick visit. They had an opening in an hour. So I put my meal straight into a to-go box and off we headed. The doctor sent us for a chest x-ray but encouraged us to maintain normal therapy. Whaaaatttt is normal therapy?! He largely didn't want to medicate Josiah if he didn't have to (which I support) and he dismissed it as a virus. We never heard back about the x-ray and assumed it was OK. The kiddos were once again amazingly helpful and well-behaved...so I pretty much feel like we've got these doctor visits down to an art!<br />
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After we were home for a little while, Josiah wanted to sit next to me on the couch. As he sat there, I noticed his head was bobbing a bit so I picked him up. He hadn't napped much and I thought he was falling asleep while sitting there. Unfortunately, that was not the case. His lips were completely purple and a bunch of unswallowed saliva was coming out of his mouth. He was almost unresponsive and very limp in my arms. I called 911 and an ambulance came to the house. Thankfully, Josiah came around by the time the EMS arrived. He was weak, but responsive. They checked him out and vitals were mostly good. His fever was at 103 even though I had given him Tylenol after our doctor's appointment about an hour earlier. The EMT didn't feel he needed transported at the time (and I agreed) so I chose to keep him home and watch him closely. About an hour later, I was feeding Josiah in his high chair when I noticed his left eye/face begin to droop. It was very scary and very odd. My mom had come over to help watch the other kiddos when we had the 911 scare and she noticed the same thing. As soon as Eric got home, off the three of us went to the ER. They admitted Josiah and began an IV. The IV did not go well. At all. The next couple of hours were equally horrific. Josiah screamed and screamed nonstop. Nonstop. They couldn't draw blood, we had to hold him down for more x-rays, and they couldn't get his heart rate to register correctly. By now, his fever was 104.5.<br />
The ER doctor explained that he didn't feel like we were best served at the hospital and put in for a transfer to Toledo Children's. Part of his reasoning had to do with diagnoses in Josiah's medical file from China. We understood and agreed this was best. MediVan came soon after and took our boy away in his car seat...leaving Eric and I to follow them in our own vehicle. I was scared. And I was angry that they wouldn't let me ride with Josiah- for insurance purposes. Can't I sign a waiver?! After all of the trust we had worked to build...how would Josiah know what was going on in a van with two strange men?!<br />
As soon as we arrived, a rapid response team was sent in to the room. This was also very scary! Josiah's fever was now 104.7 and his heart rate was through the roof! It was a long night of worrying and trying to figure out what was going on. Obviously, his vitals were checked around the clock so not much sleep was happening. And Josiah pretty much associated ANYONE in the hospital now as the devil and screamed and flailed his body. Every.single.time. This made Eric and I the forever "bad guys" and we hated that. As you can imagine, the constant vital checking and an uncooperative 18 month old made it very difficult and hard to complete temp checks and BPs accurately. Josiah also knew the pulse ox monitor was on his foot and had to literally be distracted from this 24/7. Yikes! And an IV plus a flailing body makes life interesting too. At one time, it did have to be pushed back in and taped down more. This caused him to bleed quite a bit underneath his bandage.<br />
We ended up staying from Wednesday night to Friday night because Josiah's experience was not a textbook febrile seizure. This concerned the doctors. Based on some findings in his EEG, it was determined that an MRI would need completed to figure out exactly what was going on with our sweet boy. Unfortunately, the MRI requires full sedation and the team did not feel comfortable with Josiah's fever and nasal congestion to go forward with the procedure. We were finally released Friday night and were instructed to schedule the MRI as soon as possible. Until then, we've got four different medications we're taking. We also have an ENT appointment next week because we did find out that Josiah had an ear infection (again). And we'll meet with the neurologist in the next few weeks to discuss the MRI findings.<br />
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Thankfully, the entire staff at Toledo Children's was exceptional. We loved everyone we met and they had mutual feelings about our boy. Eventually, Josiah learned to trust and let the vital checking happen without tears and tantrums. (Although sometimes he signed "all done" as soon as they walked in to the room. HAHA! Stinker.) He also loved saying "Hi" to all of his favorite nurses and he was even spoiled with his very own medicine syringe. You should have seen his excitement about this gift. The nurse could not believe how happy it made him. We had told her how he LOVES using those things to take medicine. Everyone commented on how cute he was which always make me smile. Naturally, we think he's a cutie too! Especially when he's feeling like himself! So many people have told us that they can't believe he's even cuter in person. You guys are too sweet. And too much. This boy is going to have an ego!<br />
Phew. That was a lot. But again, I want to make as much of our journey as transparent as possible. God has used our testimony in so many ways these past two months as we've shared with others. And I can't tell you how many people share that they've considered adopting too after talking with us. God creates our testimonies so that we may share with others for HIS glory! At the hospital, a doctor opened up about her struggles with infertility and cried along with me as she shared her game plan for Josiah.<br />
And just yesterday, I got to share a bit of my heart for adoption with a cashier at Walmart. She admitted that her daughter was wanting to begin the process soon. She also cried with me and held my hand as she handed me my receipt...telling me that she was praying for our boy. See?! How amazing is our God?!<br />
Soooooooooooooo...back to month TWO happenings. An area where we've seen improvement since month ONE is eating! We've figured out a trick with baby food. He definitely has some texture aversions. But, he tolerates more fruits and vegetables in a puree form so we're rolling with it. He'll still eat some fruits and veggies in solid form...but not many. That boy can inhale two big containers of baby food in less than a few minutes though! He's also eating more protein and has done sooooo much better with not gagging this month. Although he seems to be able to do that on command. Oy.<br />
Something we're still waiting to see improvement on is SLEEP. We had taken the advice of the psychologist and tried the crib again. She told us to keep the end goal in mind. Well, the end goal is obviously the crib. We didn't exactly wish to sleep with him until he was nine or OLDER?! We had also learned that he wasn't sleeping well prior to this because he had roseola, an ear infection, and he was cutting his bottom canines. The doctor said he was dealing with SO MUCH and that all of those things would drastically affect his sleep. So we were relieved and hopeful. Sleep was surely on its way!<br />
But alas, after trying the crib for two horrible weeks...we ditched the plan and went back to co-sleeping. Eric and I could not function. I almost fell asleep- standing up! And since Josiah wasn't napping consistently and then sleeping horribly throughout the night...it was a terrible situation for him too. Sooooo now, I sleep in our queen bed with Josiah...and Eric sleeps on the floor. And it works. We all sleep. I think we'll try to squeeze Eric into the bed during month #3. Or save money for a King. Josiah is just a total bed hog. But hey, we're all sleeping so that's the important part! He has also been taking hour or so naps a few times a week while I've been home with him. Granted, he lays on the couch beside me...but again, we'll take it! Also, knowing that Josiah hasn't been 100% since we've been home makes this sleeping piece make a little more sense. Poor guy! Here he is refusing to go to sleep...while standing up! This boy is a FIGHTER! The hospital kept telling us that too. Ha!<br />
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As always, thanks for following our journey and praying us through it. We are so appreciative of everyone's outpouring of support and love. Happy September, everyone! We're excited for a more healthy month THREE!<br />
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Lindsay http://www.blogger.com/profile/07848749570544732993noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151500864611836548.post-51893863861942473482017-08-03T09:29:00.002-07:002017-08-03T13:57:20.546-07:00Hands Full, Heart Full: Month ONE<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
So I've been thinking about the easiest way to update our blog with our adoption journey and I've seen other Mamas do monthly updates...and that sounds like an easy and simple way for me to stay on track...so here it is...our MONTH ONE update! Wow! It's kind of hard to believe! Last night, I had to pull up the first picture I ever saw of our boy...the picture from back in January...that led us down this road to our Josiah. He has changed so much! And we're glad to be on this side of our journey and experience these changes right alongside him. Here's our sweet boy experiencing his Mama's craziness! The first picture is courtesy of his older brother and sister playing peek-a-boo. The second picture is how he TRULY felt that his Mama was making him do such a thing. HA!</div>
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I'm not sure what the "cut" is when people tell you that your hands are full...I mean...I'm fairly certain I heard it when our "number" was three...but I don't feel like it was as often as I've heard it in the past month. I've read numerous stories and accounts of funny things people say to you and quite honestly, I'm sure I've been guilty of saying things that probably send chills down parents' spines in regards to their adopted child. More often than not, people mean no harm....just as I meant no harm when I've told people how "lucky" their child is to have parents like they do. (Sigh) But, it's something I'm learning along the way and I appreciate my encounters with all of these comments because it allows me to practice my responses!</div>
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The first month home is exactly what it sounds like...the month where you experience a LOT of "firsts" with your child as part of your family. Our first month was no exception. Here's a recap of some of the FIRSTS we experienced together.</div>
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Last week, Josiah had his first outing to the doctor's office. Emmaline had her well-check so it was a "pack up the circus and take it on the road" kind of day. I wasn't exactly sure how this was all going to go down...but Sydney and Landon were super amazing and I'm fairly certain I'd still be in the parking lot if it wasn't for them. We arrived. We parked. We all joined hands and walked through the parking lot, into the elevator, into the waiting room, and then into the check-up room. And for the most part, it was fairly successful! Keep in mind successful means there was floor-sitting...Emmaline was walking around the room barefoot and in a diaper...and a Cheerio MAY have been eaten off the floor. Cheerio-eating off the floor wasn't our goal...but hey, we were also going for survival. Naturally, I had to thank the "bigs" with a little Biggby hot chocolate. Their personal fave. And of course, I indulged myself with a Grande Teddy Bear HOT...because...when in Rome!</div>
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Another first for Josiah has been playing outside with his siblings! Grass is still basically a sea of alligators to him that he won't touch. But, that's to be expected when he's likely never played in grass before. I didn't see any at the orphanage, but we didn't see every square inch of the complex either. I can only guess because he literally picks up his feet <b><u>any</u></b> time I try to put him down. And when he's dropped a piece of chalk in the yard...he can't find a way to pick it up. It's actually kind of funny to watch him pace back and forth on the concrete and think so hard about HOW he can rescue things that have fallen into the "alligator" pond. But he's becoming more comfortable outside and just the other day...he walked into the garage and carried out a bucket of chalk on his own. Progress!</div>
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Josiah also experienced his first trip to the store this week. Actually, make that storeS plural. This week, he conquered Marshall's, New to You, Bath & Body Works, and Wal-Mart. He also became an experienced "fountain coin-thrower" and loved experiencing this "first"- perhaps most of all! That boy can throw some serious coins. And thankfully, Mama's penny population is now under control.</div>
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All trips have gone well...mostly because he has had snacks the entire time. But hey, we're in the business of keeping things stress-free right now. And our boy is HAPPY when he can snack. But this brings up one of our biggest struggles this month...food. Transitioning his diet has been difficult. Not difficult because he isn't getting what he's used to eating. He actually doesn't always accept his normal Chinese diet. And I mean, eventually, he has to eat something else besides congee and rice cereal. I say it's been difficult because he WANTS what we have...but only on his own time. And only certain things. If this boy had his druthers, he'd live off Cheez-Its, Blueberry Chex, Goldfish, Cheerios, and milk. Do you see much protein in there? Me either. </div>
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Meals can be a quite the trigger for our boy's fits. Fits where he cries and cries and cries...and cries some more. Did I say he cries? I've been keeping a list of what he'll eat and it is a fairly long list...but again, it's finding a balance of things that are good for him to eat and not just allowing him to survive on snacks alone. He does love noodles. So goulash, spaghetti, macaroni & cheese, and Ramen have been successful. But not always. We've also had some success with tacos. Each meal is an adventure though. </div>
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He's still learning how to use his entire mouth full of teeth. So.many.teeth. He's learning how to chew AND swallow. He'll still gag from time to time because he gets too much food in his mouth. He doesn't know when enough is enough. (Eric and I have caught our FAIR share of gagged-up food. Yum.) He's also learning that he can eat more than one thing at a time...meaning...if there are several things on his plate like a veggie, a fruit, and the main dish...he can pick and eat all of those things throughout our mealtime. But right now, he only picks ONE thing off the plate and won't touch anything else. We definitely have to be strategic in how we offer meals to him. He also doesn't know that he can finish one item before he accepts another. So...let's say he's working on some cereal at breakfast...but wants the muffin I have. If I hold out a piece of muffin to him...he spits out everything in his mouth and takes the muffin. I've been decorated with many a spit up food in the past couple of weeks. Really doesn't help my re-wear policy on certain clothing items. Haha! </div>
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Another area where he's struggling is sleep. This triggers his crying fits as well. In China, he'd take a 3 hour nap with no questions asked. He also slept through the night as if he knew no other way. Even in Florida, we saw much of these same sleep patterns. Of course, we can likely attribute the majority of this sleep due to the emotional trauma he was experiencing with all of the changes that adoption brings to a child's life. </div>
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Now that we've been "Home Home" for almost two weeks, however, we have been dealing with new sleeping habits and patterns. Josiah largely doesn't nap. If I can lay on the floor and pat his belly (through the slats of his crib- read: I have ginormous hands and this hurts for long periods of time)...he'll nap. Or there have been times when he's so tired that he'll fall asleep on my chest. But both of these circumstances are difficult to do on a daily basis...because there are other kiddos and other schedules. Right now, he'll start in his crib at bedtime and make it a few hours...but he's basically co-sleeping with us. We're OK with this arrangement for now, but it has been tricky when our other "graduate of co-sleeping" baby (Emmaline) decides to cut teeth and come in for some action too. We only have a QUEEN bed, people! HA! So really... I've been co-sleeping with two toddlers and Eric has been sleeping wherever he can find room....which isn't always IN our room. P.s. Have you ever seen a queen bed with side rails? It's real cute. Insert wink face.</div>
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I asked Eric last night...as we were both remembering our first month together...what his biggest surprise has been...and he said Josiah's communication. I had to agree...because we are truly blown away at all he is able to do. He signs "more" and "hungry" and "milk." He says Hi, Yeah, All done, Thank you, Up (when he wants held), Mama, Dada, Uh-oh. The kids are convinced he can say their names. The jury is still out for me on that one. But overall, he understands sooooooo much. He puts things back when you ask, he gets his shoes when he wants to go outside, he comes to you for diaper changes, he pulls you in the direction of what he wants when his "words" aren't working. He truly is such a smart boy. Sometimes, I have to remember that he has only been with us a short time when he's throwing fits...because I forget...and he has exceeded our expectations when it comes to communication. So I can easily "expect" more from him...because he can communicate and understand SO WELL...but this isn't fair to him or our adjustment to one another.</div>
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Wow. I can't tell you how helpful it is for me to write all of this down...to remember that it's only been a month. But, at the same time, that it's also been a MONTH. He's been in our arms for an entire month!? As a dear friend said this morning...it feels like yesterday and forever ago all at the same time. And that is so very true.</div>
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Yesterday, as Sydney and I were trolling through Wal-Mart with a double stroller AND a shopping cart...the cashier said (in a very sincerely sweet voice) "You have your hands full, don't you!" And she's right. My hands ARE full...but so is my heart. Through good and bad, fun and hard...there can be joy in EVERY step. We love you Josiah Bug! Every single piece of YOU!</div>
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Lindsay http://www.blogger.com/profile/07848749570544732993noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151500864611836548.post-85371856834187381172017-07-23T18:42:00.003-07:002017-07-23T18:42:55.745-07:00Twenty-two For twenty-two days, Eric and I haven't slept in our own beds. We haven't driven our own cars. We haven't seen the corn grow on two sides of our house (WOW it's so tall now!). We haven't set foot in a grocery store that isn't absolutely bananas with people. We haven't done a.lot.of.things. for twenty-two days.<br />
For twenty-two days, Eric and I have been away from home. And I'm not just talking about the physical aspect of home. I mean its comfort, its familiarity, and its pace. Life these last three weeks has been...well, busy! And busy is good. There are times in my life where I thrive on busy-ness. But there's also a point in time where you long for slowness and simplicity. And I think it's safe to say Eric and I both reached this so-called "point."<br />
As some of you may have figured out, we JUST arrived home (like HOME HOME...not just United States home) late last night from a week in Daytona Beach with my family. Say whaaaaa?! YEP! You read that right! Let me break it down for you as to how this exactly happened...only because I can laugh about it now. Our plane from Hong Kong/Dallas landed in Detroit at 11:45PM last Friday night. We claimed our baggage and rode a shuttle to a hotel near the airport...where my mom and our three other kiddos were sleeping. (Well, my mom probably wasn't doing much sleeping.) At 5:30AM we re-loaded said shuttle with all our previously-claimed baggage and all of our kiddos and our grandma...and we flew to Orlando. Well, actually, we had a layover in Charlotte...and THEN we flew to Orlando. THEN, we picked up a rental car and crammed into it like a bunch of sardines and drove an hour or so to Daytona Beach to stay with my sisters and their kiddos in a three bedroom/two bathroom condo on the beach. For a week. After a two-week stay in China. With a different time zone. Yeah. Crazy, right? Probably.<br />
BUT! We did it and we have no regrets! (Well, unless you count the time we chose to have Eric patted down at the airport on the flight back to save four Capri Sun pouches for the kids...there may have been regrets about that part, ha!) But, I digress. Eric and I were careful not to share too much about this decision for a couple of reasons. One, being judgement by other people (we knew we would do what we thought was feasible for our family)...and the other reason being that we were fully prepared to back out of this trip if we thought it would be too much for Josiah. The biggest reasons we chose to even consider this trip were Sydney and Landon. My parents own a timeshare that comes every other summer. We've known about this vacation for a looooooong time and they've been looking forward to it for equally as long. The other reason it seemed to make sense (if that's possible?) is that it literally butted up to our China trip...so we weren't bringing Josiah into our physical home...and then ripping him out of it and confusing him with a trip to Florida which he won't remember. It seemed to be the best timing for making this vacation possible. And our bigs were SO EXCITED...which made it totally worth the effort.<br />
Eight flights in three weeks. That's gotta be a record for someone NOT in the business of flying planes, right? Maybe not. But I know I'll never be able to say that statistic again. Do you remember that I don't like flying? I still don't care for it...but I definitely feel more comfortable in the air. HA! Again, a huge answered prayer! We joke that Josiah is going to think we're some jet-setters with all of this flying. He became a pro by the last flight home!<br />
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We took it easy and did what we thought was best during our time in Florida. Some times we swam...sometimes we didn't. Sometimes Eric went down...sometimes I went down. And sometimes, we both went down! My family was SUPER helpful with Sydney and Landon as Eric and I tended to the "twins" and tried to recover from jet lag. It hit Eric pretty hard the first couple of days...and then it hit me. Once the little kids were in bed...so were we! Honestly, the only way we survived was because of my family pitching in with the older two kiddos. We were extremely grateful for their care and attention throughout the week to make sure Sydney and Landon were having fun! Eric and I also got to enjoy time with all four kiddos at the beach and the pool. Josiah did pretty amazing considering everything. He LOVES kiddos! That was super helpful as he just got in line with his siblings and cousins and did all of the things! He also did his share of crying too. Don't go thinking this was some super easy trip. We're still talking about two very young toddlers! Ha! But all in all...we had a great time and we're glad we could spend time in Florida as a family of 6.<br />
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We hit the ground running this morning as Eric was on the schedule for sound booth at church. I stayed home with all four kiddos to lay low and continue to work on bonding. Josiah definitely cries when I leave the room and likes me to hold him...especially when I'm holding Emmaline! The "twins" are perfecting the antagonizing relationship that siblings tend to exhibit. Josiah likes to "tattle" on Emmaline who has turned into quite the stinker! If there wasn't a dull moment before...there's even LESS of those moments now! HA! We're having fun and laughing along the way. And again, there are also moments when I'm ready for a large coffee at Biggby...which is where I went today...with just Sydney. It was so nice to have some quiet time. We even grocery shopped! Fun stuff! Seriously. </div>
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All in all, we've seen so much improvement these last few weeks and can't wait to continue to watch Josiah grow and learn. The other kids have handled all of these changes well too. We're just very grateful! Thanks again for everyone who has prayed for us these last few weeks in particular. Every time I look back upon all that has happened...I have to give all the glory to Him! How else are we still alive!? God is good!</div>
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I hope you all have a super week- whatever it may entail! I know the kids and I have some things we'd still like to accomplish these next few weeks....as Summer is quickly ending! </div>
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<br />Lindsay http://www.blogger.com/profile/07848749570544732993noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151500864611836548.post-68239528460818812312017-07-16T22:26:00.000-07:002017-07-16T22:32:44.569-07:00...Home... We left the hotel at 7:30AM on Friday. (7:30PM Thursday U.S. time) We loaded into a van with two other families and drove to the border in Shenzen. We knew it was going to be about 2 hours for this portion. I barely slept the night before because of nerves and excitement. I'm not sure many of us slept. How could we?! We were finally going home!!<br />
As we drove, I started to worry. I had no idea if we were going the right way. Signs were in Chinese and obviously it wasn't a trip we had ever taken before. To make my mind wander even more, I overheard the couple in front of us say they didn't remember seeing these things on their way into Guangzhou from Hong Kong. They were very tired and slept during their commute, but the first part was all I needed to hear to make my Mama heart start formulating ideas of how we weren't actually going to the airport. I blame it on my nervous mama heart and not getting any sleep. But, either way, I made Eric use our beloved international data plan and pull it up on Google maps. Thankfully, we were indeed going the correct way. I made Eric check it throughout the trip. Thank you, Lord!<br />
When we got to Shenzhen, we had to split up into two smaller vans for the remainder of the trip. This "crossing the border" part took a while and was a little nerve-wracking. We had to fill out forms and drive through two border stations. We waited a while to work our way through both stations. Each time, our driver had to open up all of the van doors and the trunk. And each time, we had to show our faces and our passports to the patrolman and explain who Josiah was...they always asked us what his (Chinese) name was before we could proceed. They even quizzed us on whether he was a boy or girl at one station. At the second border check, a lady actually came out and checked all of our temperatures- all 5 of us! Craziness. Thankfully, we were fever free because otherwise they would have re-checked us in Hong Kong.<br />
We arrived at the airport and checked our luggage fairly painlessly. It was insanely busy though. Luckily, we had enough time to grab lunch at the food court (Food on planes is awful!)...but there were no tables. We're talking thousands of people and trying to find a table like a needle in a haystack. Talk about stressful! We finally pulled up two high chairs and set our food tray on top of one and put Josiah in the other. Eric and I sat in extra chairs we had pulled from surrounding tables. Here's our guy eating congee...and french fries...yum!<br />
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After lunch, we made it to our gate with less than an hour or so to spare which was perfect. When it was time to board the plane, we were allowed to go whenever we wanted since we had babies. This was a nice gesture, but we preferred to board later than earlier because #lesstimeonaplane. Here's our sweet boy looking out at his ride HOME and playing with his most favorite toy ever.<br />
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The security in Hong Kong was no joke. Obviously we had already been through several security checks up until this point. But unfortunately, we had to go through one final check as we made our way onto the plane. Everyone's carry-on and personal item was checked and then a man was checking our tickets individually to see if you needed an extra "random" check. This was an international flight... we're talking a big plane...with a LOT of people. But guess who won the door prize for a random check?! Ding, ding, ding! Me!<br />
I had the pleasure of going off into a third line with a few other lucky winners to be checked more thoroughly. I was holding Josiah which they told me was no big deal. But after watching others complete their "random checks," I knew that Josiah would have more fun with Eric. Honestly, I almost unraveled at this point. I fought back tears as I watched Eric and Josiah pass by easily and begin to board. Eric could see that I was ready to break down and waited for me.<br />
By the time it was finally my turn for a random check, I was fed up. But thankfully, no drugs were detected! (sarcasm) I must admit that even though you KNOW you're not hiding something...it is still scary to watch them insert their wand (that just rubbed your shoes or hands or other body part) into a machine and watch it read "processing" for 20 seconds before it reads "No detection." Yikes! Talk about agonizing! As if I wasn't already a nervous flyer...this pushed me over the top.<br />
But, alas! I was allowed to board the plane! And thankfully, it was a pretty uneventful 14ish hour flight. Josiah assumed this position for the majority of it...praise God! The extra seat was worth every penny!<br />
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Eric was able to sleep a little...I didn't sleep at all. By the time we landed in Dallas, I had been awake for almost 24 hours. We had to go through customs and immigration...along with lots of other people waiting in line. The first man to direct us asked if we had just adopted our babies. He was so kind and spoke with another woman who let us cut all the way to the front. This saved us SO much time! There were 4-5 adoptive families on our flight and four of us stuck together so we weren't issued green cards. Sometimes adoption isn't as well known to officers so they'll issue your child a green card. *This isn't a huge issue, but it involves more paperwork and usually your congressman.* The Consulate warned us of this possibility on Tuesday so we decided to go with the strength in numbers approach. Thankfully, our officer had no problems with our paperwork and we were given an easy green light! Josiah and I celebrated his U.S. citizenship with a tired selfie!</div>
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We had to grab our bags and recheck them for our connecting flight. At this point, we said our "see ya later" to the other couple we had spent time with in Kunming. They were in a different terminal than we were for the last leg of the trip. I held back tears... I was still in disbelief we were all this close to home! And we were all so, so exhausted. </div>
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We sat in our gate and waited...trying not to fall asleep. Sitting across from us was a lady who complimented Josiah on how good he was being. He was playing nicely with (you guessed it!) his stacking cups. I explained that we had just come off a 14+ hour flight and the conversation allowed me to share our heart about adoption and how we met Josiah. I also learned that this couple actually went to the same church as my parents and oldest sister years ago! Only God!</div>
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At 8PM (8AM China time), we boarded our final flight from Dallas to Detroit. *Fun fact: We took 5 different flights in 15 days! Yeah us!* Sleep deprivation was more than setting in though...Eric and I tried to do the math about how long we had officially been awake and we.just.could.not.even. Josiah had his moments on this last flight but we survived. He was up for the long haul now.</div>
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When we touched down in Detroit...it was almost still too surreal. But suddenly, I wasn't as tired anymore, ha! I had the chance to share our exciting news with several people who overheard Eric and I talking about our sweet boy. People shared in our excitement as we made our way to baggage claim. The airport was quiet and it was as if we had our own quiet, special moment bringing Josiah down the empty halls as a Murray. We were now just one shuttle away from a hotel full of our other sleeping Murrays! My mom had driven up on Friday night with all 3 kiddos to a hotel near the airport.</div>
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This was the sight I saw when we walked into the room just after 1AM (1PM China time- and on Saturday)... I hugged my mom and we both cried. The kids all grew at least a foot!</div>
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Wow. Just wow. Fifteen days ago, Eric and I left home to travel across the ocean to become a family of six. We left our three babies in the great care of family and friends to go and bring home the child we've all patiently waited and prayed for these last two and a half years. And God did it! He did it all! God allowed our family to overcome so many obstacles and challenges. And He grew us in so many ways! I am eternally grateful for this opportunity to raise another child and teach him about the love of Jesus Christ...an opportunity he might not otherwise have had. </div>
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Thank you for following along, friends! Our Josiah is home! He's HOME! Here he is meeting Sydney for the first time...it was all smiles and giggles. He just loves his brother and sisters!</div>
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I hope to continue sharing our adoption journey as I see fit...but not daily! Haha! No one wants to see that. But I do pray our story...God's story...has encouraged you in some way- big or small! Thanks again!</div>
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<br />Lindsay http://www.blogger.com/profile/07848749570544732993noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151500864611836548.post-23821659388845769242017-07-13T03:22:00.000-07:002017-07-13T03:22:43.034-07:00Saying "See Ya Later" When we first received our LOA back in March, we were anticipating travel could be late April or May. And as I've shared before, July wasn't really on our radar. But here we are, getting ready to leave China in the middle of July, and I couldn't imagine a better experience or a better group of people to travel with here.<br />
We had two other families with us in Kunming. Again, we learned this was considered a large group. And yet, I'm grateful God orchestrated our paths to cross during our stay in Kunming. I can't imagine a smaller group! When we arrived in Guangzhou, our tribe grew by four more families. Each family was slightly different from the next. Some of us were first time parents, some of us were sixth and third and fourth time parents, and some of us were parents of kids who had graduated college. This group was special. They were kind and funny. They were prayer warriors. We appreciated each family for what they brought to our first trip to China. And while I never doubted God's timing, it isn't always easy to understand why things don't work out at first. But here we are, on the back end of our trip, and we can see so clearly why God laid out this plan for us.<br />
At noon, we received Josiah's visa. YAY! But we also had to say "See Ya Later" to a few special families that we've shared so much with these last couple of weeks.<br />
We had nothing on the schedule today which was both good and bad. It was nice to sleep in and eat breakfast when we wanted to eat breakfast. But we also did a lot of sitting around in the hotel room which can make the day drag on!<br />
Josiah finished off his canister of sweet potato puffs this morning so we headed to Walmart in hopes to find more. UGH! The humidity was awful! And Walmart was equally as bad! (I'll gladly take a Walmart in the U.S. any day!) I can't tell you how many times people cut in front of you while in the checkout line. Eric finally stood beside me to block our spot. But, I digress.<br />
In regards to our puff search, we came up empty handed as they didn't sell puffs. BUT, they had cherry coke so that was a positive. As we were checking out, I noticed what looked like goldfish crackers across the way. Eric tried asking about them only to be ignored. Finally, a man behind us, who spoke some English, told us they wouldn't be good for kids. We're still not exactly sure what they were but we were so grateful to the man behind us. We thanked him for his help. The cashier lady barely handed me my change...being very careful not to touch me. It was enough to make me upset and rush out of there. Thankfully, Eric grabbed our items, ha!<br />
On the way back to the hotel, we stopped by Burger King to grab a sandwich. God blessed our visit with another kind woman who spoke English and made ordering very easy. Admittedly, my heart needed these positive interactions because it was getting slightly hardened from daily interactions you can experience here as a foreigner. I know that's not what God wants and neither do I. I'm definitely thankful for His grace.<br />
Tomorrow, we leave the hotel at 7:30AM and ride in a van to Hong Kong. It's about two hours until Shenzhen where we'll go through customs and hop into another van for the remaining hour drive to the airport. We were fortunate enough to be able to share a van with two other families and split the cost. Yay!<br />
Our hotel, called The Garden, has a beautiful garden in the back of the building. ..which is probably why it has its name, right?! We went out earlier this week and enjoyed a beautiful walk. Here are some pictures we captured!<br />
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(Sigh) We cannot wait to be on the same side of the world as Sydney, Landon, and Emmaline. We have missed them so, so much! The next time I post will be from HOME! Eek! Thanks for praying, everyone! We've got a long flight ahead of us and an extra passenger in tow. Please pray for health and safety for all of us. Until next time, China! </div>
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<br />Lindsay http://www.blogger.com/profile/07848749570544732993noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151500864611836548.post-35313060914242569032017-07-12T02:11:00.000-07:002017-07-12T02:11:16.439-07:00Welcome, Wednesday! Wednesday. I can hardly believe it's already Wednesday. The weekend here in Guangzhou seemed to drag on forever. Funny how that's not the way it works back home, right?! We're so glad Monday and Tuesday (and now almost Wednesday) are behind us!<br />
We all slept in this morning and ate breakfast just before heading out to Shamian Island around 10AM. I'm not sure what exactly I was picturing the island to look like...but it wasn't what I had imagined. It's a beautiful place that was originally purposed for all things related to American adoptions. The Consulate used to be housed there, as well as the building where your child had his/her medical appointment. Families also stayed on the island at The White Swan where the famous red velvet couch belonged. Families always had their picture taken with their new child on this particular couch. Our guide said that the hotel was renovated some time ago and as a result, had the furniture replaced. But, because so many adoptive families asked about the red couch...they brought it back to be on display.<br />
The other famous picture that families usually capture on the island is with the music teacher and her children. The entire island is sprinkled with beautiful bronze sculptures. Naturally, this famous spot was our first stop when we arrived! Josiah wanted nothing to do with it so we did the best we could. Ha!<br />
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We spent the rest of our three hours on the island searching for gifts for the kids. There are tons of little shops with souvenirs and other special items. Many stores are named after the owner such as Helen's, Michael's, Jenny's, and Susan's. I had flagged some posts in a Facebook China Group I'm in to determine which of the stores might be best for what we wanted to purchase. There was also a store called A Gift From China where the proceeds benefit orphans in China. We stopped there first...well technically, second. *Actually, Eric encouraged me to go to Starbucks first for a coffee. Great idea!* The owner of A Gift from China was so kind and we even heard Amazing Grace being played there! We found some neat items and continued on our way. </div>
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As we walked past another building, a girl pulled me into a very small shop and I noticed it said Jenny's. Ha! Perfect! It was another store I had wanted to check out. The signs on many of these stores aren't easily seen so you definitely have to pay attention and look hard to find some of these spots. Eric stayed outside with Josiah and I looked around. A man, who was actually one of the owners, began talking to me and asking me about my family. He was very kind and showed me around his store...all 8x10 square feet of it. I saw a few items I was interested in, but wanted to keep going. I told him I might come back. He came out as we were getting ready to leave and gave Josiah a Chinese flag. It was so sweet.</div>
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Our next stop was Helen's and this store owner was also very kind. She was also slightly pushy but not in an annoying way. She truly just wanted to show us all her store had to offer. We purchased all the kids a cultural outfit. The girls got matching silk dresses and the boys got matching silk short and shirt outfits. </div>
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By now, we were ready for lunch so we stopped at a famous restaurant called Lucy's. (They're all about the first names here!) They had congee on the menu so that was a bonus. I had sweet and sour chicken that was actually pretty good. It was more like American Chinese so it was right up my alley. </div>
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Afterwards, we only had about thirty minutes before the van came to pick us back up. I wanted to stop back at Jenny's... partly because the owner was so nice and partly because I wanted something else small to give the kids. We went back and picked up some handmade wooden frogs that make music and a pair of squeaky sandals for Josiah. These squeaker shoes are quite popular! I wasn't sure what Josiah would think so I put them on him and gave them a squeak. Instant smiles! Actually, we had to wear them out of the store because he didn't want to take them off! Here he is all smiles with his new shoes.</div>
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We had a few extra minutes before we left, so I snapped several pictures of the bronze sculptures because they were all very different. Here were some we saw as well as some views of our walk around the island. The buildings were just as beautiful.</div>
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Josiah fell asleep on the way back as he usually does any time we're in a vehicle. </div>
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Unfortunately, he woke up when we got to the room though. And since nap time was such a fiasco yesterday, Eric suggested heading to the pool. Josiah was very hesitant at first. But he sat on my lap and really enjoyed splashing. Once he warmed up, he let Eric hold him in the water and did not want to get out. The only reason we left was because it had started raining. Josiah loved the splashing part!</div>
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All in all, it was a great day. We even got Josiah to nap this afternoon... although he cried quite a bit before falling asleep in my arms. He crashed on the dinner cruise last night so we really wanted to try and encourage him to rest. We have NO schedule tomorrow except that we'll hopefully meet our guide at noon to get Josiah's visa. We're almost home, friends! Yay!! As always, thank you for your prayers!</div>
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<br />Lindsay http://www.blogger.com/profile/07848749570544732993noreply@blogger.com0